NO THANKS, I DON'T NEED HELP!

How often have you said that to someone? Why do we think we can do everything on our own? Do we like to offer help - yes, I believe most of us do. Then we certainly should allow others to help us. It is incredibly selfish to give but not let others give back to us.

Is that an audacious statement to make? Maybe. Why is it selfish? That's easy - when we give (help others) we feel good about ourselves, and we like the accolades. We receive a blessing. However, being on the receiving end is very different. Do we feel weak? Do we not want to bother people? Do we not want to feel indebted? I believe the answer to these questions is yes for most of us.

This query became very personal for me recently. This Friday, October 2, I am having surgery, a torn rotator cuff. It happened from everyday living, aging and sports. Several people have asked if they could help. My brother also offered to help. He and Jo would come down and stay with me and do whatever I need. Guess what I said? No thanks, I don't think I will need any help. Then I started thinking about it. Maybe I will need help. Regardless, I should let them come down and stay with me, the company would be nice. But more importantly I would be giving them a blessing.

This next month of October I will be putting that into practice. Many people have asked if they can bring meals to me, and you now know what I told all of them! But now I have changed my mind. I will let them bring me some meals, drive me places, and visit with me. There will be times where I may feel a little uncomfortable, and that is called personal growth, and grace. Years ago I learned to say "thank you" when given a compliment. It's similar to allowing someone to help - simply and graciously say thank you.

Not being able to use my right arm, especially being right handed, will be difficult. The simplest of tasks will be difficult, if not impossible to do. I won't be driving for at least 2-3 weeks while my arm is in a sling, and certainly not while I am on pain meds. However, I have been practicing driving with one arm, at least in my community. But I won't do that on a freeway, too many things can go wrong where you need both strong arms. Today I even put my make-up on left-handed. It took twice as long, but women are very resourceful, especially when it comes to make-up and hair. Practicing helps me be ready for the unknown.

Thank you, good night and God Bless!    Aleta

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."  Hermann Hesse -Poet and Novelist

MUSIC AND VINTAGE WASHING MACHINES!?!

Some of you will remember my fondness for CBS Sunday morning, my favorite tv show. This last Sunday was fascinating starting with Pope Francis as one of the highlights. He is the first ever pope to take the name Francis, patron saint of the poor. He preaches the love and compassion of God to the people, as we would expect any pope to do. But to be concerned about the environment and to be able to relate to all people, he is truly a very special human being. I have never before been interested in any pope. But this gentle man is very special in my eyes, and he has broken the mold for future popes - and that is a good thing.

The Bill Cosby scandal was another segment. Suffice to say, we are all saddened and shocked about it. 50 women have now come out to tell their story. It's hard to comprehend because he was after all Bill Cosby, a moralist and philanthropist, America's favorite father. In the 1960's, rape victims were re-victimized and it wasn't compassion and protection of the victims - it was what were you wearing?
I remember hearing this thinking as a young teen, no one deserves to be raped no matter how she's dressed!

All Washed Up was a segment about men who collect old washing machines, from a 1938 Bendix to machines from the 50's and 60's. It was bazaar but I have to admit I liked it. They showed  basements with multiple washing machines, from red ones, to turquoise and all chrome. Most members, 3000 worldwide, have 20+ working machines in large basements. This would never work in California where we are in a serious drought. But being a lover of vintage things, I would love a red washer.

Jeremie from Lansing, Michigan was perhaps my favorite segment. Jeremie is a 10 year old boy who has always wanted to be a police officer when he grows up. He recently asked his mom "are the  police still the good guys?" Seeing all the news coverage of some officers getting into trouble made him start to wonder. Their treatment reminded him of the bullying he has been subjected to. Jeremie will be giving the Lansing Police Department a grand party in February 2016, in lieu of his own birthday. When asked why doesn't he want a birthday party, his response was priceless - "The police are more important than any birthday party". I don't think this young man will ever have a problem with bullying again!

One more segment I want to mention (and there were several others I haven't) is Don Henley, veteran Eagles singer and guitarist. I love music - classical, jazz, big band, but my favorite is the all time best Oldies But Goodies, 1950-60's! During his interview he quoted the poet, TS Elliott. His voice still sounds great, he looks healthy and younger than his 71 years, and he is looking forward to his retirement in his hometown in Texas. When do you hear a rock star quote a poet? Anyway, I got all jazzed hearing some old Eagles songs.

Thank you, good night and God Bless!    Aleta

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."  Berthold Auerbach - Poet and Author

ARE DISGRUNTLED PATIENTS WELCOMED??

Yesterday my stitches were removed. My incision feels much better and I'm not constantly reminded of the surgery. However, it is still somewhat swollen and red and was told it may take up to 6 months to heal from the inside out.

I am happy to report my doctor was receptive to listening to my displeasure over the whole procedure, never once rushing me, or getting arrogant or impatient. She was actually sweet and said she wants to get feedback from her patients. (Please see Monday, 9/14 post My No Good Very Bad Day.)

The great thing about getting older is the wisdom we gain. It's not hard to see why old people get obnoxious and out spoken. Some of course revert to children and are self centered. I hope and pray I am not that bad. But lately I can see I am not going to let anyone push me around - a far cry from my personality as an overly nice twenty year old.

The whole reason for writing about this incident is to say we all need to be our own best advocates, especially when it comes to our health. We need to go into a doctor's appointment prepared to ask questions, having everything written down, listening, even taking notes, and remember a doctor works for us. We are allowed to disagree.

Today I was reminded, once again, how blessed I am. A little spot removed and it's over. Unpleasant, but I am healthy. This morning I drove a friend to her chemo appointment in San Francisco. My first thought was to let her go in and I will return when she is almost finished. However, that wasn't going to work for me. I don't like the medicinal smell of a hospital, nor do I like being reminded of the fragility of life. If she has to go through it, then I can go up with her and see exactly where she is, and make sure she is settled in, returning when she is almost finished. None of the procedure - needles, IV, different bags with potent chemotherapy meds, pills, etc, bothered me. But seeing perhaps 15 people (just from my vantage point) receiving chemo, did bother me. Most were in their 40's-50's.

That was my Thursday and Friday. Stitches out for me and finding a better chiropractor on Thursday, and Friday being honored to help a friend with a very personal need. Life is fragile and precious! Love and care for your family and friends, that love comes back!

Thank you, Good night and God Bless!   Aleta

"Health is not valued until sickness comes."  Thomas Fuller - English Churchman and Historian

MY NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY!

Life happens.  Last Thursday was one of those days. I had a doctor's appointment to have a basil cell cancer spot removed from my nose. This is a very, very slow growing cancer, and when they take it out, it is gone. The interesting thing is, it might be from my teen years. Wednesday I woke up with stomach cramping. Whenever you have surgery in your abdomen, there is a chance of scar tissue later grabbing onto organs, perhaps intestines, causing intestinal blockages. Having had a few abdominal surgeries in the past, I have to be careful not to eat too much raw food, or too much food period. Wednesday was very uncomfortable and surprisingly debilitating. The Chinese believe everything to do with our health begins in the gut. It makes perfect sense to me, because that is where we feed our entire body, and the nutrients are introduced to keep the body healthy.

Trying to find someone to drive me to the doctor's became a necessity because my energy was quite diminished. My friend Darby was able to, and I was very grateful. I had a very uncomfortable appointment.

This is a heads up post. Doctor's instructions are not always in our own best interest. I am not saying they don't have our welfare in mind, but they might not put much thought into our emotional well being. I have a friend that is a doctor and perhaps other doctors will read this. So before you blow up, please read on. My dermatologist sees patients 5 days a week. Taking out basil cell tissues is a mundane task for her, and when you have done it for 20 years, it's a no-brainer. Please excuse the slang! Basil cell cancer spots are a very common occurrence in people. The doctor detects the spot, a biopsy is done, the doctor takes out all of the spot, biopsied again to be sure it is all gone, and stitch you up. A local is given for pain each time, stitches come out the next week, and it's over. Those are the "facts and tasks". Any reasonable person would say it makes sense. 

Before the appointment was scheduled, I asked my doctor if I needed a ride, she said no, you don't need a ride and you will be fine. However, because of my stomach cramping, I knew it would be safer to have a friend drive me. Let me just add I have had several surgeries and 3 babies, and I have never cried in a doctor's office. Nor been stressed out because of a surgery.

After the basil cell spot was removed and before stitching me up, the plastic surgeon gave me the local injections again. None of that was bad. But remember it was on my nose and near my eyes, and I believe it's a very sensitive area. (Even band aids pull on my face.) I don't know how long but maybe 20-30 minutes she did the stitches, from the inside out, of course. She was very methodical and great at explaining what she was doing. Because this spot was on my nose, a plastic surgeon did the procedure, they didn't want a scar. After I don't know how many stitches, and pulls, I was getting very uncomfortable. My mind was racing - "OMG! what kind of pain am I going to have next week, how could my doctor say I didn't need a ride home, there will also be pain from her stretching my skin over so I don't have a scar, and I will have to cancel, blah, blah, blah!" Every time she stitched I felt the pull, and I began saying to myself - Please God, let this be the last one! And it wasn't for a very long time. I laid there and did not move because she was working on my face. But inside I was extremely anxious. 

When it was finally finished, I began to tell the doctor and nurse what I had been going through, and I told them everything I was thinking - and the tears began to fall. I knew it would happen because the tears were there, ready to erupt, many stitches ago. I was not angry with them and I am a reasonable person. 

Through my tears I conveyed my thoughts, logically, though obviously emotionally, explaining from my perspective, the perspective of a patient. A patient who had never felt stitches pulled on her face. My doctor will hear my story, because I believe we can all improve. Doctors are not the best students, especially from a patient. She doesn't know me! I am not angry and won't be nasty, that's not my way. Besides no one listens when people spew out ugly words. 

When asked the question can I drive myself? This is what I would like to hear her say: Most people go through this procedure just fine, and drive themselves. But if you think you might want to have a friend drive you, then you have to decide that for yourself. That sounds reasonable to me. 

Thank you, good night and God Bless!    Aleta

"Be yourself, who else is better qualified."  Anonymous

FAMILY IS EVERYTHING!

It's gorgeous on the Northern California Coast today and all weekend it was clear and sunny, 70-80. Currently (at noon) it is 80 degrees and sunny with no wind. This weather calls for shorts, windows and doors open, and gardening, and most certainly a walk at the beach.

My brother and his wife just left after visiting for the weekend. We had a great time. Barney, their frisky Australian shepherd, always comes but is relegated to the back yard. We played pickle ball, I started to teach them mahjongg, we shopped at my favorite natural foods store, and of course broke bread and enjoyed red wine with dinners.

We also got to Face Time with my sons and their families who live in the Midwest. My grand daughter, Rosalie, has not met her great uncle and aunt yet. But thanks to technology, they got to say hello to her while my son Jesse gave her a bath. She is a very happy little girl and it was priceless to see her happy smiles. Everything they do at the age of 14 months is adorable (well, almost everything:) Waving bye bye, blowing kisses, meowing like a kitty cat, or barking like a doggie. Why do adults turn to baby talk? Because we want to relate with them. Sometimes I watch her videos from my phone for a long time, and talk to her, because I miss her so much.

We also got to Face Time with my other son and his wife, Ian and Tina. Life is too busy and we are all going in many different directions. But I am grateful we had family time across the miles. We got to talk about what is going on in their lives, and what we did here in California.

Family time is important and I am very grateful for my 3 sons, their wives, and my grand daughter!

Thank you, good night and God Bless!    Aleta

"A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living."  Charles R. Swindoll  - Pastor and author

IS THERE A CORRELATION BETWEEN SUGAR AND HEART DISEASE?!

Watching a news program recently and reading more online, I discovered some disturbing facts. Some is old news, however, some is brand new to me. Added sugar is the single worst ingredient in the modern diet - what else is new?! Sugar has harmful effects on our metabolism, is filled with a lot of empty calories, bad for our teeth, and overloads the liver, causing all sorts of serious health problems. The most surprising statistic I read, sugar, Not fat, may be one of the leading drivers of heart disease!

I am not a scientist, but I like to be health conscious and found this fascinating. Please bare with me with a few details. Healthy, active people can tolerate more sugar than people who are inactive, and primarily eat a high-carb, high-calorie diet. All sugars are basically the same. Sugars create insulin, lead to fat storage, and slow metabolism. These large amounts of added sugars get turned into fat in the liver. This fatty liver can lead to Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD), a growing problem in Western countries. When fructose gets turned into fat in the liver, not all of the fat gets out. Some of the fat gets lodged in the liver which leads to NAFLD.

About the liver. First, what is sugar made of? Before it enters the bloodstream from the digestive track, it is broken down into 2 simple sugars - glucose and fructose. Glucose is in all living cells. If we don't get it from our diet, our bodies produce it. Fructose is different, our bodies don't produce it, and we don't need it. It can only be metabolized by the liver in significant amounts. This is not a problem if we eat a little (perhaps from fruit), or if we just exercised. When we repeatedly eat large amounts of sugar, it can lead to fatty liver, and other serious health concerns. It is almost impossible to overeat fructose by eating fruit - good news!

There is also a correlation between a diet high in sugar and cancer. Very disturbing. Insulin is one of the key hormones in regulating the uncontrolled growth in cancer cells. For this reason, there is considerable evidence that sugar, due to its harmful effects on metabolism, can contribute to cancer. We all know sugar is very addictive. Sugar and many junk foods, cause a huge release of dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter released by the brain that plays different roles in humans, and animals. Such as: memory, pleasure, behavior, sleep, and mood. Dopamine is a fascinating read and I suggest you look it up to learn more.

Like abusive drugs, sugar causes a release of dopamine in the reward center of the brain - hence, we run to it to improve our mood, etc. Everyone knows sugar is a leading contributor to obesity. But new studies show it isn't only the fat that raises cholesterol and gives us heart disease.

There is a lot of conflicting news out there, and doctors often disagree. I read and re-read my posts and try hard to be accurate. Please take this information as an introduction that I hope will pique your interest to learn more. Thank you!

Good night and God Bless!    Aleta