Thursday, July 9, 2015

WHY IS LOVE SO TOUGH ON US?

Why does love hurt so much? (This may be a girlfriend post :-) I am speaking from a theoretical, and personal point of view.  Sometimes we want to share our feelings but it can be confusing. In the end we have to go through it alone. Figure it all out on our own, no matter how much a friend thinks she sees it clearly. Women sometimes want to talk about a relationship with a friend. Yet, the opinions aren't always welcome. So I really don't know why we continue doing it. There are probably several different reasons....we want some help figuring things out, we like to share our secrets with that special friend, we can't wait to tell her, and we are excited and just love to talk about all the new (personal) gossip.

One thing is certain - let's hope we can learn from our mistakes. Honestly, I hope that I have learned from a recent mistake. A few months ago, I met a wonderful man who is smart, tons of energy, affectionate, honest, the list is long. Though the other list is shorter, it is extremely important. And I chose to ignore the signs....signs that were there at the beginning. A little voice that some how knew something was missing. I was always trying to understand him, yet he didn't seem to want to know me as well as I wanted to know him. I kept saying "he is a logical social style and I am an expressive". That was my reasoning for letting it go so long. The fact that logical, scientist types don't express much is true. But I was hoping and wishing and not thinking clearly.

If we have to try that hard then something is deeply wrong. One thing I know for sure: we have to be HAPPY with ourselves! I want to wake up each morning knowing that I am learning and growing and changing, and always becoming the best "Me" I can be. Ultimately, it is our own self worth that means the most. When we decide to share life with someone, we need to be at our best, independent, and strong self. We can't count on the other person to make us happy. We are setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure.

This post turned into a different, very personal writing. Expressing myself in prose is very therapeutic for me. But I also hope my story helps others. After all we have a lot in common - we are humans, and there are two types, as I once told my 3 sons when they were small - boys and girls! It's funny how we can complicate life. And then we have the ability to learn and grow and change!

Thank you, good night and God Bless!   Aleta

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."  Victor Frankl-  Austrian Psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor



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