Not sure what to write, I looked at my notebook where I jot down ideas and thoughts. On February 8th, my favorite show CBS Sunday Morning, aired a great segment with Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. A couple married for 55 years, who co-wrote famous song's from the 1960's, 70's, and 80's. They are extremely talented people, having met at age 20, fell in love, married, and then wrote some of our all-time best 1960 hits. At the end of the interview, Mann said "I can honestly say I love Cynthia more now than I have ever loved her". You could see the love and respect they have for each other during the entire interview - love that many of us only dream of!
Some of their songs everyone will remember: On Broadway, Blame It On The Bossa Nova, You Lost That Lov'n Feeling, We Gotta Get Out Of This Place, by The Animals, (anti-Vietnam War song), Here You Come Again (Dolly Parton), Just Once, (You're My) Soul and Inspiration and Somewhere Out There. To name just a few. Barry Mann played bits from some of their songs through out the interview. They are 75 and so talented....he played the piano, and sang with such panache!
In 2010 they were inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. They have not stopped, they can add to their repertoire photography for him, and she recently wrote a novel. How any two people could have so much talent is beyond me. Mid 70's, and they look fabulous (this is where money comes in handy), and still going strong doing what they love. I have so much respect for people who know what they want, don't listen to the nay-sayers, but just keep the creative juices flowing.
The 60's Oldies But Goodies is my favorite all time music. Big Band music is my favorite to dance to, but 60's music makes me happy like nothing else....it stirs my soul like no other music!
As a side note, I think I'll have to make sure my kids have all my favorite Oldies but Goodies for me, when I get to be an Oldie But Goodie myself! Maybe I can sit back and listen and bounce my feet around and move my shoulders and embarrass them...it's called pay-back!
Same time same place, I'll be back on Monday. Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us, and the world will be as one." John Lennon
Friday, February 27, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
WE HAVE ALL OVER-COME SOMETHING DIFFICULT
Yesterdays post was written at my kids home in the valley. I am back at my home now and pretty tired - lots of excitement the last two days. I had my first date from the online dating site! He was a gentleman, we met at a restaurant for lunch, and talked for a couple of hours. We got along, laughed a little bit, and the conversation was pretty natural. He even brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. Yes, we will see each other again, sometime. That's all you get now!
The problem for me with dating is I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I was never good at it in my 20's, (too sensitive) but I will have to get better at it now. Because I believe with all this 'wisdom' I always talk about - ha ha - I should be able to find my knight in shining armor. For me it's important to have a soul mate, best friend, lover and husband. I want all of it - romance, flowers, love, friendship, chocolate, love notes on my pillow, stimulating conversation - all of it! Honestly, I would rather be alone than make a mistake and be unhappy. Because I know I can be alone now, with me.
I am not afraid to dream, I have always been a dreamer, with a big imagination. It has helped me pursue my writing and creative artsy side. When I am making something, whether it's writing, or cards with my photos, or videography, I go away. It is therapy and I don't think about anything else. It is very relaxing and fulfilling. I am doing something I love and creating something for others to enjoy. For that time, my world is quiet and my self-talk is quiet. My self-talk was not always good, very negative and destructive.
This is new for me, brand new. I feel very blessed to have come to a point that I am comfortable with myself. More self confident than I ever imagined and my creative side is surfacing - writing and videos, and my Mac. This is huge! This is coming from a little 7 year old girl who over-heard her mother and teacher have a talk about her - Me. I heard the teacher say (paraphrased) I was not doing very well, not keeping up. What I heard was I wasn't very smart and that was that. Until my thirties I believed them. Then I went on a quest - I was hungry to learn - for me and no one else!
Why is this important? Why talk about this? Most people have unbelievably sad things happen to them, and sometimes they don't recover from them. I am not the only person that this has happened to. And some have had far worse. But for some reason I feel compelled to write about these things. If we can pick up a book, or many books, or find a friend to talk with, or find some solace in someone's story that can help us.Why not reach out and help? That is my mission.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
The problem for me with dating is I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I was never good at it in my 20's, (too sensitive) but I will have to get better at it now. Because I believe with all this 'wisdom' I always talk about - ha ha - I should be able to find my knight in shining armor. For me it's important to have a soul mate, best friend, lover and husband. I want all of it - romance, flowers, love, friendship, chocolate, love notes on my pillow, stimulating conversation - all of it! Honestly, I would rather be alone than make a mistake and be unhappy. Because I know I can be alone now, with me.
I am not afraid to dream, I have always been a dreamer, with a big imagination. It has helped me pursue my writing and creative artsy side. When I am making something, whether it's writing, or cards with my photos, or videography, I go away. It is therapy and I don't think about anything else. It is very relaxing and fulfilling. I am doing something I love and creating something for others to enjoy. For that time, my world is quiet and my self-talk is quiet. My self-talk was not always good, very negative and destructive.
This is new for me, brand new. I feel very blessed to have come to a point that I am comfortable with myself. More self confident than I ever imagined and my creative side is surfacing - writing and videos, and my Mac. This is huge! This is coming from a little 7 year old girl who over-heard her mother and teacher have a talk about her - Me. I heard the teacher say (paraphrased) I was not doing very well, not keeping up. What I heard was I wasn't very smart and that was that. Until my thirties I believed them. Then I went on a quest - I was hungry to learn - for me and no one else!
Why is this important? Why talk about this? Most people have unbelievably sad things happen to them, and sometimes they don't recover from them. I am not the only person that this has happened to. And some have had far worse. But for some reason I feel compelled to write about these things. If we can pick up a book, or many books, or find a friend to talk with, or find some solace in someone's story that can help us.Why not reach out and help? That is my mission.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
WITH AGE COMES WISDOM - AGING STILL SUCKS!
That old saying is absolutely true. Now that I am in my 60's, the truth is revealed. I love love love the wisdom I have gained. But first I have to apologize for using that nasty s... word. I detest it and never use it. But I must admit for my title, it is an eye catcher, and may even make some people chuckle. Author's license again, and very useful. That is why writing appeals to me so much. We can write to our hearts content. But if it is appealing, and has something of value, we can share with others. I hope to get to that point, where my words mean something to others.
I digressed - age and wisdom - that is on my mind today. These next two days I will be visiting my son and daughter-in-law. On my drive here, I got excited thinking about the things I have learned - mostly about people, relationships, my intuitions, trivial things I am interested in, business related things, etc, etc. As a 30- something, I became interested in personal growth. My 2-3 years of college was a yawner for me. I preferred reading books that I chose, subjects that appealed to me.
If you read my post from a few days ago, you will know this online dating started out horribly for me (in the first few days). A man pretending to be someone he was not, with obvious ulterior motives, had two profiles to stalk his victims. (At least two, who knows.) No more air time for that scoundrel, clearly. We need to pay attention to our intuitions, always. I know people really well. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. This is a strength of mine and I love it. And personality styles I wrote about recently, they are fun to understand. Because it helps us to understand why the people we work with, or our spouse, or children, do what they do. And why we are the way we are - and we can learn to love being who we are.
Why is this a topic today? Because as I was driving here, I was laughing thinking about my future conversations with the dates I will have. They will be nothing like the dates I had as a 23 year old -
not even close! When you get to this age and you know what you want in a spouse, you won't settle for anything less. At least I certainly am not. After reading many profiles of the men I was checking out, they all have the same idea. Getting the woman of their dreams. Online dating is very awkward, it's not natural, and you have to learn how it works. You have to get out of your comfort zone. My people skills will come in handy, I am not shy, as you have guessed. It is hilarious to me thinking about the information I want to know. Funnier yet, is thinking how will it surface?
Anyway, enough of that. I am blessed to have 6 kids (including my 3 daughters-in-law) and an adorable 7 month old grand daughter. I value family time, so I will close.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss
I digressed - age and wisdom - that is on my mind today. These next two days I will be visiting my son and daughter-in-law. On my drive here, I got excited thinking about the things I have learned - mostly about people, relationships, my intuitions, trivial things I am interested in, business related things, etc, etc. As a 30- something, I became interested in personal growth. My 2-3 years of college was a yawner for me. I preferred reading books that I chose, subjects that appealed to me.
If you read my post from a few days ago, you will know this online dating started out horribly for me (in the first few days). A man pretending to be someone he was not, with obvious ulterior motives, had two profiles to stalk his victims. (At least two, who knows.) No more air time for that scoundrel, clearly. We need to pay attention to our intuitions, always. I know people really well. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. This is a strength of mine and I love it. And personality styles I wrote about recently, they are fun to understand. Because it helps us to understand why the people we work with, or our spouse, or children, do what they do. And why we are the way we are - and we can learn to love being who we are.
Why is this a topic today? Because as I was driving here, I was laughing thinking about my future conversations with the dates I will have. They will be nothing like the dates I had as a 23 year old -
not even close! When you get to this age and you know what you want in a spouse, you won't settle for anything less. At least I certainly am not. After reading many profiles of the men I was checking out, they all have the same idea. Getting the woman of their dreams. Online dating is very awkward, it's not natural, and you have to learn how it works. You have to get out of your comfort zone. My people skills will come in handy, I am not shy, as you have guessed. It is hilarious to me thinking about the information I want to know. Funnier yet, is thinking how will it surface?
Anyway, enough of that. I am blessed to have 6 kids (including my 3 daughters-in-law) and an adorable 7 month old grand daughter. I value family time, so I will close.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
FRIENDS, FOOD, AND FUN
The music and dancing last Friday night was great. Lots of people to make it fun, yet not over-crowded. My two friends and I had a blast dancing. We ran into people we know and got to meet new people. It was a friendly crowd, which is a nice change from the occasional stuffy atmosphere you find in some clubs. Joyanova and his musicians were superb. Gerry Bassermann divides his time between his music and his 'day job', North American director of a software company. Clearly he is both left and right-brained - I admire that.
Last week my friend Julie took me to a Vietnamese restaurant for a typical Vietnamese soup, Pho Do. The restaurant with the same name, is located in Tanforan shopping center, San Bruno. They serve it in a huge bowl, big enough for 3 people. The soup has a clear broth and you get to choose a meat. The aroma was lovely and mild with chopped green onions, slices of chicken breast, and vermicelli style Vietnamese noodles. What made the lunch fun were the little bowls they put in the middle of our table filled with veggies, all beautifully chopped: jalapeños, fresh mint, lime slices, and a larger bowl with bean sprouts. This was my first time eating in a Vietnamese restaurant and I would go back for this soup. It was delicious, light with fresh veggies you get to choose.
Perhaps the best part of my weekend was lunch with girlfriends. OMG!! We laughed and talked and shared stories and got caught up on each of our lives....and then we laughed some more. The restaurant specializes in beer, Half Moon Bay Brewery, in the harbor. Even though I am not a true beer drinker, I like to order their little shots of three different types of beer - that's about all I can drink. I have always said I am a cheap date! Anyway, I had forgotten how good it feels to spend time with girlfriends, and laugh, and not have any time constraints. The weather was mild, 60 degrees, and we had a nice hour walk before the restaurant. I tasted my first martini- and last. Nasty! One friend wanted a sweet version made with grapefruit, and the other was a traditional martini. Neither was appealing to me. My drink of preference is almost always red wine- if I drink at all. But I chose beer to go with my fish fajitas, and they were delicious. Life is way too short not to slow down and spend time with good friends, whether you are male or female, young or old. I am happy to say we will be doing this again soon, maybe even making it a habit.
My online dating experience has been a tough one, as I posted several days ago. Suffice to say, I am learning what not to do. It will always be an emotional roller coaster. Three profiles have been closed, two of them were the same guy. We have to be vigilant about our safety.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one's watching." Satchel Paige
1906 - 1982 A baseball legend from the early days of baseball. Joe DiMaggio said "Paige was the best pitcher he had ever faced." Wikipedia
ps This quote caught my attention over twenty years ago, and it's still a favorite today. Read Wikipedia on the entire life of this charismatic and high spirited character - wonderful!
Last week my friend Julie took me to a Vietnamese restaurant for a typical Vietnamese soup, Pho Do. The restaurant with the same name, is located in Tanforan shopping center, San Bruno. They serve it in a huge bowl, big enough for 3 people. The soup has a clear broth and you get to choose a meat. The aroma was lovely and mild with chopped green onions, slices of chicken breast, and vermicelli style Vietnamese noodles. What made the lunch fun were the little bowls they put in the middle of our table filled with veggies, all beautifully chopped: jalapeños, fresh mint, lime slices, and a larger bowl with bean sprouts. This was my first time eating in a Vietnamese restaurant and I would go back for this soup. It was delicious, light with fresh veggies you get to choose.
Perhaps the best part of my weekend was lunch with girlfriends. OMG!! We laughed and talked and shared stories and got caught up on each of our lives....and then we laughed some more. The restaurant specializes in beer, Half Moon Bay Brewery, in the harbor. Even though I am not a true beer drinker, I like to order their little shots of three different types of beer - that's about all I can drink. I have always said I am a cheap date! Anyway, I had forgotten how good it feels to spend time with girlfriends, and laugh, and not have any time constraints. The weather was mild, 60 degrees, and we had a nice hour walk before the restaurant. I tasted my first martini- and last. Nasty! One friend wanted a sweet version made with grapefruit, and the other was a traditional martini. Neither was appealing to me. My drink of preference is almost always red wine- if I drink at all. But I chose beer to go with my fish fajitas, and they were delicious. Life is way too short not to slow down and spend time with good friends, whether you are male or female, young or old. I am happy to say we will be doing this again soon, maybe even making it a habit.
My online dating experience has been a tough one, as I posted several days ago. Suffice to say, I am learning what not to do. It will always be an emotional roller coaster. Three profiles have been closed, two of them were the same guy. We have to be vigilant about our safety.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one's watching." Satchel Paige
1906 - 1982 A baseball legend from the early days of baseball. Joe DiMaggio said "Paige was the best pitcher he had ever faced." Wikipedia
ps This quote caught my attention over twenty years ago, and it's still a favorite today. Read Wikipedia on the entire life of this charismatic and high spirited character - wonderful!
Sunday, February 22, 2015
BLOGGING - WHY DO WE LOVE IT?
Why is blogging getting popular? It's definitely ease of using the internet, also perhaps our own narcissism, to get information out there, and the need to write to an audience. I almost forgot, it is most definitely financial, as well. My own reason is to just write. Writing has been brewing inside me for over twenty five years. It was a romantic idea I had sitting at a typewriter (yes, that antique), in a quiet studio above a house, windows all around, and lots of greenery outside. I am not in a room like that right now, but would not be surprised if it did happen one day. Be careful what you dream! This writing picture was the earliest memory I have thinking about being a writer. I have no desire to write fiction, only non-fiction. I read an article from Forbes about how to create a blog and get the attention to become popular. I don't think that pertains to me at this moment.
I am not sure what my writing will lead to. But the fact remains, I am grateful to wake up each morning excited to have something to say, and put pen to paper, as the old saying goes.
As I always say, I am the mom, the teacher and the philosopher. It is important for each of us to share our wisdom with others, especially young people. And that is what I love doing- thinking about what is on my mind, and sharing with others what I have learned. It will never get old for me to mention how blessed I have been over my life. That attitude has opened me up to treasures like friendships and opportunities to learn.
One treasure was taking a risk, and it turned into a great three week trip to Italy. That first week I thought I was crazy to go to a small town, alone, not knowing anyone, and no easy transportation to get around (prohibitive costs). But it forced me to write everyday, and that was my savior. Even if I did not do any sight seeing in a day, I had a task to complete, and that was to write every day about my experiences. The rest of the time I acted like a local and shopped, sat in a cafe drinking espresso, writing, walked for miles, and made new friends. I have to mention I became good friends with Terri, the manager of the B&B. The family that owned the B&B were also very kind and took us places. Had I not taken a risk and booked the three week trip, I would not be writing today. I would not have the courage to open my heart to the world and share my personal feelings. Ten seconds of boldness each day, or each week, will give us untold treasures.
God bless you! Aleta
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same." - author Og Mandino
I am not sure what my writing will lead to. But the fact remains, I am grateful to wake up each morning excited to have something to say, and put pen to paper, as the old saying goes.
As I always say, I am the mom, the teacher and the philosopher. It is important for each of us to share our wisdom with others, especially young people. And that is what I love doing- thinking about what is on my mind, and sharing with others what I have learned. It will never get old for me to mention how blessed I have been over my life. That attitude has opened me up to treasures like friendships and opportunities to learn.
One treasure was taking a risk, and it turned into a great three week trip to Italy. That first week I thought I was crazy to go to a small town, alone, not knowing anyone, and no easy transportation to get around (prohibitive costs). But it forced me to write everyday, and that was my savior. Even if I did not do any sight seeing in a day, I had a task to complete, and that was to write every day about my experiences. The rest of the time I acted like a local and shopped, sat in a cafe drinking espresso, writing, walked for miles, and made new friends. I have to mention I became good friends with Terri, the manager of the B&B. The family that owned the B&B were also very kind and took us places. Had I not taken a risk and booked the three week trip, I would not be writing today. I would not have the courage to open my heart to the world and share my personal feelings. Ten seconds of boldness each day, or each week, will give us untold treasures.
God bless you! Aleta
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same." - author Og Mandino
Friday, February 20, 2015
DANCING AND MUSIC- WHAT COULD BE BETTER
Today is Friday and I am going to hear music and dance, one of my favorite things to do in the whole world!! I can dance anywhere, anytime, with whomever, as long as he is a good leader- and the music has to move my soul. I dance in my house all the time, mostly to Big Band music, but really any great music. I can even dance while sitting. It's all about sexy shoulder movement, a little leg and feet movement, and of course you've gotta have rhythm!!
A night of samba, jazz, and Latin tunes (and it's local). I am going with two friends and we hope we get to dance with some men. A lot of the time the dance parties are mostly couples. But we will dance together if need be. Either way, it's time for decisions on the wardrobe - dress or skirt, lots of glitz, sparkly eye shadow, and which dance shoes to wear! Gerry Bassermann, (Joyanova his band name) is the lead singer and guitarist. He has a beautiful voice and plays a variety of music. We met at a local farmers market last year and he kindly put me on his email list.
This is all she wrote, folks! Today is one of those short stories I mentioned to you. Also, I have decided I will see if I like posting Monday-Friday, rather than 7 days a week. Same time same place, see you on Monday.
Thanks and God bless! Aleta
"Be yourself, who else is better qualified?"
A night of samba, jazz, and Latin tunes (and it's local). I am going with two friends and we hope we get to dance with some men. A lot of the time the dance parties are mostly couples. But we will dance together if need be. Either way, it's time for decisions on the wardrobe - dress or skirt, lots of glitz, sparkly eye shadow, and which dance shoes to wear! Gerry Bassermann, (Joyanova his band name) is the lead singer and guitarist. He has a beautiful voice and plays a variety of music. We met at a local farmers market last year and he kindly put me on his email list.
This is all she wrote, folks! Today is one of those short stories I mentioned to you. Also, I have decided I will see if I like posting Monday-Friday, rather than 7 days a week. Same time same place, see you on Monday.
Thanks and God bless! Aleta
"Be yourself, who else is better qualified?"
Thursday, February 19, 2015
AUTHENTICITY
It took me many years to learn how important authenticity was to my self-worth. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. I once read, if you say something you wish you could take back, it would be like going to the top of a mountain and emptying a down feather pillow, and then trying to pick every one of them up. That's quite an emotional word picture.
It was about fifteen years ago I learned the word authentic, in terms of my growth. A friend gave me a wonderful book, Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnache. The sub-title 'A Daybook of Comfort and Joy'. I will often quote her. I looked up authenticity in dictionary.com (a favorite past time) and here is what I found: authenticity: adj not false, genuine, having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; reliable, trustworthy.
Most high school educated adults know what the word genuine means. But when talking about human beings, it has a much deeper meaning. Being authentic means being true to yourself, being the same person with your spouse, your boss, your children, the president of the United States, your ill tempered neighbor. Making conscious choices that are in line with your beliefs. We have to wake up each morning, look at ourselves in the mirror, and be happy with whom we are becoming - for some reason, unless we have a great professor in college who directs us to this introspection, many of us will not think about this until much later in life.
Why is authenticity and self-knowledge important to me? By the time I reached 30, I was tired of the role playing I was doing in my head. We have all done it - why did I say that, why didn't I just tell her I can't go, what did she mean by that, and if I had only said ..... blah, blah, blah! I was also tired of feeling badly, feeling guilty about saying no. I am a people pleaser, and that can make for a pretty miserable life if you let it get out of hand. I had to learn how to be assertive - polite, and smile, and yet get my feelings across. It was tough for me. But we are all in the same boat - we are all human beings with feelings, and weaknesses, and strengths, and we all make mistakes. On top of all that life is happening at warp speed - with stress, and health issues, and family stuff. It comes down to getting along with people - we have to learn to listen better and remember that maybe something awful just happened to them and that's why they responded that way. Learning to listen, and just be quiet and say something like - maybe this isn't a good time to go over this. My mother used to tell me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". That basically means be quiet, listen, and say very little.
Take 10 seconds of boldness each day, or each week, and do something out of your comfort zone, and see what happens. Obviously something that will benefit you and possibly others. Your heart may race, you may freak out and say you will never do that again, or you may get mad at me. That's okay, it won't be the first time someone got mad at me. But I guarantee you will feel better eventually and you will do it again. Getting out of our comfort zone never killed anyone, but it does help start the creativity flowing. When we feel strong and confident and can think clearly, we can do anything we set our minds to do. I would never have thought I could write to an audience. I used to worry too much about pleasing everyone. That is impossible of course.
I read that the average person uses less than 1% of her/his brain. What can we do today to change that?
Thank you and God Bless you! Aleta
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
author - Somerset Maugham
It was about fifteen years ago I learned the word authentic, in terms of my growth. A friend gave me a wonderful book, Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnache. The sub-title 'A Daybook of Comfort and Joy'. I will often quote her. I looked up authenticity in dictionary.com (a favorite past time) and here is what I found: authenticity: adj not false, genuine, having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; reliable, trustworthy.
Most high school educated adults know what the word genuine means. But when talking about human beings, it has a much deeper meaning. Being authentic means being true to yourself, being the same person with your spouse, your boss, your children, the president of the United States, your ill tempered neighbor. Making conscious choices that are in line with your beliefs. We have to wake up each morning, look at ourselves in the mirror, and be happy with whom we are becoming - for some reason, unless we have a great professor in college who directs us to this introspection, many of us will not think about this until much later in life.
Why is authenticity and self-knowledge important to me? By the time I reached 30, I was tired of the role playing I was doing in my head. We have all done it - why did I say that, why didn't I just tell her I can't go, what did she mean by that, and if I had only said ..... blah, blah, blah! I was also tired of feeling badly, feeling guilty about saying no. I am a people pleaser, and that can make for a pretty miserable life if you let it get out of hand. I had to learn how to be assertive - polite, and smile, and yet get my feelings across. It was tough for me. But we are all in the same boat - we are all human beings with feelings, and weaknesses, and strengths, and we all make mistakes. On top of all that life is happening at warp speed - with stress, and health issues, and family stuff. It comes down to getting along with people - we have to learn to listen better and remember that maybe something awful just happened to them and that's why they responded that way. Learning to listen, and just be quiet and say something like - maybe this isn't a good time to go over this. My mother used to tell me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". That basically means be quiet, listen, and say very little.
Take 10 seconds of boldness each day, or each week, and do something out of your comfort zone, and see what happens. Obviously something that will benefit you and possibly others. Your heart may race, you may freak out and say you will never do that again, or you may get mad at me. That's okay, it won't be the first time someone got mad at me. But I guarantee you will feel better eventually and you will do it again. Getting out of our comfort zone never killed anyone, but it does help start the creativity flowing. When we feel strong and confident and can think clearly, we can do anything we set our minds to do. I would never have thought I could write to an audience. I used to worry too much about pleasing everyone. That is impossible of course.
I read that the average person uses less than 1% of her/his brain. What can we do today to change that?
Thank you and God Bless you! Aleta
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
author - Somerset Maugham
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
CBS SUNDAY MORNING IS A GREAT SHOW
One of my favorite shows is CBS Sunday Morning. It airs on Sunday mornings 6-7:30 am on....CBS! No, I definitely don't get up that early, I am a night owl. I have one of those fabulous inventions known as a DVR. And I get to FF through the dumb commercials. That's nothing new, most people own or rent a DVR. The show is intelligent, sexy, fun, entertaining, informative, and did I mention intelligent? My friend told me about it last year and I look forward to it every week.
This past Sunday they focused the entire show on everything related to Valentine's Day. What I found the most interesting was the segment 'broken heart syndrome', the death of a loved one. It is a medical fact that people can die of a broken heart. Ten thousand Americans may experience it each year. Those are astonishing numbers! I had heard about dying of a broken heart, and believed it was true. But to hear the medical facts and see the ultra sound, it was absolutely amazing.
How they get diagnosed is when people come into the hospital with a sudden onset of heart muscle weakness, after being subjected to some kind of emotional trauma. Usually the death of a loved one.
The body produces large amounts of stress hormones, like adrenaline, and when produced in large amounts, it can be very toxic. Blood pressure can get very low, congestive heart failure is a possibility, and fluid in the lungs. It is treatable but not always.
Not everyone is interested in this type of show. But it makes for an interesting conversation at the next party you might go to. By the way, I did not remember all these facts. That's the beauty of a DVR - pause, write, RR, write, play, pause, play, write, pause....and so on.
They had many different segments, but what caught my eye was the story about the Duchess of Windsor, Wallace Simpson, and King Edward V11(England). In 1936 he scandalized the world by abdicating the throne to marry Wallace Simpson. He loved her and could not live his life without her by his side.
I don't remember this from high school, and don't know anything about either of them. But I appreciate shows like this. And I certainly watch my share of junk, for shear entertainment. CBS Sunday Morning is well worth the time.
I am signing off and hope I haven't bored you to tears. A swordfish is waiting for me - sautéed in olive oil with lemon pepper (with meyer lemon wedge) on a mound of basmati rice, and a salad of organic mixed greens.
This past Sunday they focused the entire show on everything related to Valentine's Day. What I found the most interesting was the segment 'broken heart syndrome', the death of a loved one. It is a medical fact that people can die of a broken heart. Ten thousand Americans may experience it each year. Those are astonishing numbers! I had heard about dying of a broken heart, and believed it was true. But to hear the medical facts and see the ultra sound, it was absolutely amazing.
How they get diagnosed is when people come into the hospital with a sudden onset of heart muscle weakness, after being subjected to some kind of emotional trauma. Usually the death of a loved one.
The body produces large amounts of stress hormones, like adrenaline, and when produced in large amounts, it can be very toxic. Blood pressure can get very low, congestive heart failure is a possibility, and fluid in the lungs. It is treatable but not always.
Not everyone is interested in this type of show. But it makes for an interesting conversation at the next party you might go to. By the way, I did not remember all these facts. That's the beauty of a DVR - pause, write, RR, write, play, pause, play, write, pause....and so on.
They had many different segments, but what caught my eye was the story about the Duchess of Windsor, Wallace Simpson, and King Edward V11(England). In 1936 he scandalized the world by abdicating the throne to marry Wallace Simpson. He loved her and could not live his life without her by his side.
I don't remember this from high school, and don't know anything about either of them. But I appreciate shows like this. And I certainly watch my share of junk, for shear entertainment. CBS Sunday Morning is well worth the time.
I am signing off and hope I haven't bored you to tears. A swordfish is waiting for me - sautéed in olive oil with lemon pepper (with meyer lemon wedge) on a mound of basmati rice, and a salad of organic mixed greens.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
ONLINE DATING IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
I have come back to the land of normal - well, as normal as I can be! It has been nearly two weeks since I signed up for online dating and I hardly slept that first week. After a few lessons on what not to do, I finally learned it is just a numbers game, and don't get so excited. I have had four good nights sleep.
First a little about me. I have that expressive personality I talked about yesterday, and I hate to remind you, but I am the monkey. Okay....are we done cracking up? You will all get your chance to show your true colors, I will get around to talking about each of the social styles. We all have some funny quirks. The expressives are emotional, fun loving, lively, spontaneous, sociable, to name a few. You get the picture. (The positives) I did not sleep much because I was so excited about meeting Mr Right, and of course when you are a new member, you get lots of smiles and emails. I kept checking email 100 times a day, and getting excited and nervous all at once. It is still uncomfortable for me because as I said earlier, everyone knows when a member has looked at your profile. There are files for every action: smiles sent, emails sent, a favorites file, members who have looked at you, IM file, etc. Of course there are the same files for me, the receiver, as there are for everyone.
Why is it uncomfortable for me? Excuse me while I be a little vulnerable....I would rather have all the prince charmings chase after me, and then I can sit back and say - yes, yes, politely decline, no, no, OMG! No! Let me see if I can explain how it looks. After you log in, the 'profile activity' page appears, and it is filled with little boxes (about 2 1/2" in size) of men who are members. A photo, age, city and state, and the beginning of their blurb talking about their personality. Some guys don't post a photo. I have learned to be skeptical about those. If you see someone in your, let's say 100 mile radius, that looks interesting, you click on the words SEE PROFILE. Here is where I become shy and reserved. Which are words that never describe me! Everyone knows when someone looks at your profile. Okay, some might say 'so what'? Well, What if they see my photo and profile and don't get immediately interested, or if I look more than once, that darn web site keeps notifying them of the member that 'checked them out'! I think it's very uncomfortable, I'm sorry, I know I'm being a wimp. But, as my friend Julie always tells me, that's why I signed up in the first place. To find a wonderful man to cherish and adore me, a man that when he looks into my eyes I feel loved and protected, and I melt into his arms when he hugs me, and my hyper-spazzy moments are washed away because I found my Prince Charming! I guess I didn't mention I am an incurable romantic, now you know! Intellectually I know she is right, and I am getting better. I am sleeping and eating and not checking email constantly - yes, I had to force myself last week to eat 3 meals every day. Gaunt is not a good look for me, yuck!
All humor aside, here are some things to look out for if you do sign up. And by the way, I strongly suggest it because I know lots of people that have had great success and even found a spouse, and are happily married. I guess I got all my negatives thrown at me in my first week, but now I know and I am extra cautious. Day number two I received a smile and as always you have the opportunity to read his profile and respond. He had gorgeous green eyes, handsome face, big smile, all of it. I responded back with a short email and a thank you. He sent a cute card the next morning - he seemed like such a gentleman and a romantic. I wrote a much longer email, gushing a little too much about how I thought he was sweet and thank you for his email and kind words. He wrote a long email, and he sounded wonderful. Then after two long emails from him, he sent a short one, did not respond to anything I said except to say that's nice, or some innocuous statement. But his tone had changed,
and he asked for my phone number and a personal email "so I can be rest assured", whatever that means. I was done. He sent 2 more short emails saying "hope you are having a good day, write when you can". Blah, blah. Two red flags, actually three, not having a conversation back and forth, tone change, and asking for my personal information.
Two days later I am online and an IM chat box comes up. A man is asking to chat, his age and his city all comes up, also PRESS here to see his profile - Yes, No thanks, or Maybe later. I told myself to be brave and hit Yes. I did -and he was fascinating. His writing reminded me of someone whose English is their second language. I found that fun and interesting. Everything isn't always as it appears. I asked if he spoke another language and he said yes, Italian. Well, stupid me got excited - I am half Italian, and male members can see Italian is important to me because Italian is even part of my user name. It was not a long chat, but I did what you are not supposed to EVER do until after you meet them! He asked for my email....but I gave him an email that I only use for companies that I don't want to have my personal email. I know, I know, I should have known better! The next morning I have an email from him. I am still excited and not sleeping much. But the email was strangely reminiscent of the creep with green eyes. When I read it to Julie, she said the same thing. Red flag...my emails were forced now. I want to play detective because I can't let this guy keep doing this. I say a few things about myself and ask him more questions. He isn't all that bright because his writing changed, it was hilarious. He forgot to write his broken English emails. He sounded just the same - maybe he hit copy and paste. Scary thought, maybe he has done that many times before to scores of women. This has a good ending.
I stopped writing to him and the next day called the customer service number. They were great, I had written down the information so I wouldn't forget anything. We talked about a half an hour and I found out they had closed his account (the guy I met on IM) the next morning. As we were talking she looked up green eyes and said there were some inconsistencies. I gave them permission to read all my emails from him and I forwarded my outside emails. Within the hour he was also gone from the website. I am hoping he is gone for good. I did have one other creep send me a smile. I naively felt I needed to respond to all of these. I learned you DO NOT need to respond to all of them. Sometimes I am too nice and don't want to hurt people's feeling. I also have to admit something embarrassing - I gave a couple guys the 800 number so they could get help to post their photo. Stop laughing so I can finish this, please! Anyway, this last guy was from Missouri or someplace and I just politely declined in an email and said we aren't a good match and too great a distance. He had not posted a photo. (Beware sometimes, not always.) Mr. Nasty wrote, 'please send me your phone number and call me, or text me some photos of you, and I will text you photos of me'. Yuck!!! Delete and block, my favorite things to do.
Live and learn. We all have to be cognizant about the precautions of online dating- really any online activities. I am not sure what these guys think they can do. But I guess there are desperate people out there, especially lonely women. I deleted that email account, even though it had very little info in my profile. Sorry about the length, but with online dating so big now, I am hoping this helps some women to learn from my mistakes.
Thanks and God bless! Aleta
"Give yourself fully to the adventure of today." author Sarah Young
First a little about me. I have that expressive personality I talked about yesterday, and I hate to remind you, but I am the monkey. Okay....are we done cracking up? You will all get your chance to show your true colors, I will get around to talking about each of the social styles. We all have some funny quirks. The expressives are emotional, fun loving, lively, spontaneous, sociable, to name a few. You get the picture. (The positives) I did not sleep much because I was so excited about meeting Mr Right, and of course when you are a new member, you get lots of smiles and emails. I kept checking email 100 times a day, and getting excited and nervous all at once. It is still uncomfortable for me because as I said earlier, everyone knows when a member has looked at your profile. There are files for every action: smiles sent, emails sent, a favorites file, members who have looked at you, IM file, etc. Of course there are the same files for me, the receiver, as there are for everyone.
Why is it uncomfortable for me? Excuse me while I be a little vulnerable....I would rather have all the prince charmings chase after me, and then I can sit back and say - yes, yes, politely decline, no, no, OMG! No! Let me see if I can explain how it looks. After you log in, the 'profile activity' page appears, and it is filled with little boxes (about 2 1/2" in size) of men who are members. A photo, age, city and state, and the beginning of their blurb talking about their personality. Some guys don't post a photo. I have learned to be skeptical about those. If you see someone in your, let's say 100 mile radius, that looks interesting, you click on the words SEE PROFILE. Here is where I become shy and reserved. Which are words that never describe me! Everyone knows when someone looks at your profile. Okay, some might say 'so what'? Well, What if they see my photo and profile and don't get immediately interested, or if I look more than once, that darn web site keeps notifying them of the member that 'checked them out'! I think it's very uncomfortable, I'm sorry, I know I'm being a wimp. But, as my friend Julie always tells me, that's why I signed up in the first place. To find a wonderful man to cherish and adore me, a man that when he looks into my eyes I feel loved and protected, and I melt into his arms when he hugs me, and my hyper-spazzy moments are washed away because I found my Prince Charming! I guess I didn't mention I am an incurable romantic, now you know! Intellectually I know she is right, and I am getting better. I am sleeping and eating and not checking email constantly - yes, I had to force myself last week to eat 3 meals every day. Gaunt is not a good look for me, yuck!
All humor aside, here are some things to look out for if you do sign up. And by the way, I strongly suggest it because I know lots of people that have had great success and even found a spouse, and are happily married. I guess I got all my negatives thrown at me in my first week, but now I know and I am extra cautious. Day number two I received a smile and as always you have the opportunity to read his profile and respond. He had gorgeous green eyes, handsome face, big smile, all of it. I responded back with a short email and a thank you. He sent a cute card the next morning - he seemed like such a gentleman and a romantic. I wrote a much longer email, gushing a little too much about how I thought he was sweet and thank you for his email and kind words. He wrote a long email, and he sounded wonderful. Then after two long emails from him, he sent a short one, did not respond to anything I said except to say that's nice, or some innocuous statement. But his tone had changed,
and he asked for my phone number and a personal email "so I can be rest assured", whatever that means. I was done. He sent 2 more short emails saying "hope you are having a good day, write when you can". Blah, blah. Two red flags, actually three, not having a conversation back and forth, tone change, and asking for my personal information.
Two days later I am online and an IM chat box comes up. A man is asking to chat, his age and his city all comes up, also PRESS here to see his profile - Yes, No thanks, or Maybe later. I told myself to be brave and hit Yes. I did -and he was fascinating. His writing reminded me of someone whose English is their second language. I found that fun and interesting. Everything isn't always as it appears. I asked if he spoke another language and he said yes, Italian. Well, stupid me got excited - I am half Italian, and male members can see Italian is important to me because Italian is even part of my user name. It was not a long chat, but I did what you are not supposed to EVER do until after you meet them! He asked for my email....but I gave him an email that I only use for companies that I don't want to have my personal email. I know, I know, I should have known better! The next morning I have an email from him. I am still excited and not sleeping much. But the email was strangely reminiscent of the creep with green eyes. When I read it to Julie, she said the same thing. Red flag...my emails were forced now. I want to play detective because I can't let this guy keep doing this. I say a few things about myself and ask him more questions. He isn't all that bright because his writing changed, it was hilarious. He forgot to write his broken English emails. He sounded just the same - maybe he hit copy and paste. Scary thought, maybe he has done that many times before to scores of women. This has a good ending.
I stopped writing to him and the next day called the customer service number. They were great, I had written down the information so I wouldn't forget anything. We talked about a half an hour and I found out they had closed his account (the guy I met on IM) the next morning. As we were talking she looked up green eyes and said there were some inconsistencies. I gave them permission to read all my emails from him and I forwarded my outside emails. Within the hour he was also gone from the website. I am hoping he is gone for good. I did have one other creep send me a smile. I naively felt I needed to respond to all of these. I learned you DO NOT need to respond to all of them. Sometimes I am too nice and don't want to hurt people's feeling. I also have to admit something embarrassing - I gave a couple guys the 800 number so they could get help to post their photo. Stop laughing so I can finish this, please! Anyway, this last guy was from Missouri or someplace and I just politely declined in an email and said we aren't a good match and too great a distance. He had not posted a photo. (Beware sometimes, not always.) Mr. Nasty wrote, 'please send me your phone number and call me, or text me some photos of you, and I will text you photos of me'. Yuck!!! Delete and block, my favorite things to do.
Live and learn. We all have to be cognizant about the precautions of online dating- really any online activities. I am not sure what these guys think they can do. But I guess there are desperate people out there, especially lonely women. I deleted that email account, even though it had very little info in my profile. Sorry about the length, but with online dating so big now, I am hoping this helps some women to learn from my mistakes.
Thanks and God bless! Aleta
"Give yourself fully to the adventure of today." author Sarah Young
Monday, February 16, 2015
I AM AN ODD DUCK AND IT'S OKAY
Today was a good day. It's rare to catch me saying anything different, because I always say "it's all about attitude". When I say that, some people look at me with a blank stare like I'm from another planet. Actually I just might be. I scare people sometimes with my big, friendly smile. Then I back off a little, slow down my energy, and follow their mannerisms so they feel more comfortable. It's fascinating reading books on personality styles - driver or lion, expressive or monkey, analytical or giraffe, and phlegmatic or turtle. I think you get the idea. Florence Littauer wrote a book on social styles years ago and it is very helpful to understand ourselves, our co-workers, and certainly our mates, or significant other. There are also other books on the same subject.
My simple mind sees life in technicolor and surround sound, and I like it that way. I like to work hard and play hard. I like to help my neighbor and I know I can count on my neighbor to help me.
I wasn't just born this way, I have worked at it. And sometimes it wasn't pretty. But I would have to say a big asset is a good imagination and a positive attitude. I was a happy child with low self confidence, and very needy.
Something happened to me in my early thirties. I think I was tired of not being able to say what I meant. I used to be a door mat. I would go over every bit of a conversation, over and over, and decide what I should have said, and then be mad that I didn't say something else. Have you ever done that? Of course, we all have. We are human beings. Or I like to say 'human becomings'. I borrowed that from an author and I love it. The very first book I read from the self improvement section of my local bookstore (when we had bookstores on every Main Street), was How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty. That was 30 years ago, and the number of books I have read now is in the hundreds. But I am still on that quest of learning, growing, and changing. I have moved onto writing and photography and videography. For some strange reason I pick up unusual words, phrases, and quotes from movies, radio, television, and periodicals. And then I want to write them down, because I think 'that's so clever and maybe I can use it somewhere'. I have paper and pen in every room of my house, except the bathrooms, so I don't lose the opportunity to jot things down.
I guess I am an odd duck, as the saying goes. Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? None of us fit in. We are all odd ducks and the problem is we need to be happy that we are the way we are. And be prepared to learn how to get along with the other odd ducks in the neighborhood. That's all we need to do - be happy being an odd duck and learn to like the odd ducks that live on either side of us! Isn't life about getting along?!
God bless us all! Aleta
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind." William James, psychologist
My simple mind sees life in technicolor and surround sound, and I like it that way. I like to work hard and play hard. I like to help my neighbor and I know I can count on my neighbor to help me.
I wasn't just born this way, I have worked at it. And sometimes it wasn't pretty. But I would have to say a big asset is a good imagination and a positive attitude. I was a happy child with low self confidence, and very needy.
Something happened to me in my early thirties. I think I was tired of not being able to say what I meant. I used to be a door mat. I would go over every bit of a conversation, over and over, and decide what I should have said, and then be mad that I didn't say something else. Have you ever done that? Of course, we all have. We are human beings. Or I like to say 'human becomings'. I borrowed that from an author and I love it. The very first book I read from the self improvement section of my local bookstore (when we had bookstores on every Main Street), was How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty. That was 30 years ago, and the number of books I have read now is in the hundreds. But I am still on that quest of learning, growing, and changing. I have moved onto writing and photography and videography. For some strange reason I pick up unusual words, phrases, and quotes from movies, radio, television, and periodicals. And then I want to write them down, because I think 'that's so clever and maybe I can use it somewhere'. I have paper and pen in every room of my house, except the bathrooms, so I don't lose the opportunity to jot things down.
I guess I am an odd duck, as the saying goes. Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? None of us fit in. We are all odd ducks and the problem is we need to be happy that we are the way we are. And be prepared to learn how to get along with the other odd ducks in the neighborhood. That's all we need to do - be happy being an odd duck and learn to like the odd ducks that live on either side of us! Isn't life about getting along?!
God bless us all! Aleta
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind." William James, psychologist
Sunday, February 15, 2015
WHAT DOES YOUR PAST SAY ABOUT YOU?
It's Sunday and the beautiful weather continued, bringing with it lots of people - again. Blue skies, no wind, turquoise blue water, and it's February, usually reserved for wintry days. Hopefully, we will have more rain. But honestly, I did enjoy my walk along the beach with my friend, Julie. Capri's, a t-shirt, and a camera was all you needed. We walked for an hour, hoping to see a whale or two out in Pacific. The news has reported they are migrating, but we had no such luck today. We did get to see many pelicans, dogs romping in the sand, pink ice plants growing along the cliffs, lilies, and people walking, jogging and bicycling. No gym today but the walk was beautiful.
Sunday I typically go to church. And today was no different. Why do I go to church every week? Why not stay home once in awhile and read in bed, or watch a movie, or finish a project I'm working on? The only time I don't go to church is when I am away on vacation, or sick. Why is it important to me? Because God has given me so much. I am so grateful for everything I have been given, and that is not to say material things. I am talking about health, and babies when we were told I could not get pregnant, raising 3 sons and living pay check to pay check when they were young, and we had a good family life.
I was almost raped at 18 walking down the street in a quiet little town in San Mateo County. He grabbed me from behind, putting his arms over my shoulders, touching my breasts. I naively, but simply, said "My God, what are you doing?" I believe these simple words brought him to an awareness of "yes, what am I doing?" He was never rough or forceful, but he immediately let go and ran off down the street. I was so scared I just ran home, never turning around to see him.
My step father molested me as a young teen. I could have been so angry and bitter, and so messed up for the rest of my life without a real father to hug me, to talk to me like fathers do, to protect me and tell me about the world, to ask about my friends, all the important things fathers and mothers do. But I was never angry and I have always kept busy trying to forget the bad times, because there was always something good to focus on. I believe God gave me a strength and tenacity to withstand the difficult times and focus on the positives. We were a family of five, with me being the oldest, with one brother and one sister. I was very motherly and I sometimes disciplined my siblings better than my parents. That was the part I played, and I fit right into the role. I took care of everyone including my parents.
I go to church every week because I need to, it makes me feel whole, it encourages me to learn more about the Bible, God's word, and how it relates to my world. I also see friends there and meet new people, and hear about struggles some are going through. Then I can pray for someone. What an honor to pray for someone who is sick. It is a very intimate thing to pray for a friend that has cancer, and is possibly not going to be here a year from now. You see I am very healthy, I don't take that for granted. Every time I hear of someone I know that has cancer, I of course think, how awful. But then I can't help but think "It could be me, or worse yet one of my children, or a daughter-in-law, or my precious grand daughter". I am so very grateful for every day here on this earth. That is why I go to church every Sunday. God has given me so much, including a huge grateful heart.
Remember the name of my blog comes from 'a little of this a little of that'. I never promised to always be funny. So today you got a little history about me. Some very difficult, personal things, things that are difficult to hear. Hurtful, hateful, sad and embarrassing, and people sometimes squirm in their seats when they hear this. I am not shy about sharing personal things. I believe we need to learn from each other.
My history is relevant because my trials have helped to mold me into the woman I have become. And I have been working hard the last several years so I can learn to live alone....yes, alone, with Aleta. When you learn as a young girl that caring for everyone around you gets you accolades and gives you some sense of satisfaction, that's all you know. Then that turns into a lifetime of caring - but you have forgotten about YOU. The last few years I have been learning to care for me. I am comfortable being alone, and have a clear idea what I want. We can all learn from each other.
Writing and sharing is a wonderful outlet for me. I hope I can impact peoples lives by sharing my stories. Thank you for letting me into your hearts. Sincerely, Aleta
"The way in which you endure that which you must endure, is more important than the crisis itself."
Harry Truman
Sunday I typically go to church. And today was no different. Why do I go to church every week? Why not stay home once in awhile and read in bed, or watch a movie, or finish a project I'm working on? The only time I don't go to church is when I am away on vacation, or sick. Why is it important to me? Because God has given me so much. I am so grateful for everything I have been given, and that is not to say material things. I am talking about health, and babies when we were told I could not get pregnant, raising 3 sons and living pay check to pay check when they were young, and we had a good family life.
I was almost raped at 18 walking down the street in a quiet little town in San Mateo County. He grabbed me from behind, putting his arms over my shoulders, touching my breasts. I naively, but simply, said "My God, what are you doing?" I believe these simple words brought him to an awareness of "yes, what am I doing?" He was never rough or forceful, but he immediately let go and ran off down the street. I was so scared I just ran home, never turning around to see him.
My step father molested me as a young teen. I could have been so angry and bitter, and so messed up for the rest of my life without a real father to hug me, to talk to me like fathers do, to protect me and tell me about the world, to ask about my friends, all the important things fathers and mothers do. But I was never angry and I have always kept busy trying to forget the bad times, because there was always something good to focus on. I believe God gave me a strength and tenacity to withstand the difficult times and focus on the positives. We were a family of five, with me being the oldest, with one brother and one sister. I was very motherly and I sometimes disciplined my siblings better than my parents. That was the part I played, and I fit right into the role. I took care of everyone including my parents.
I go to church every week because I need to, it makes me feel whole, it encourages me to learn more about the Bible, God's word, and how it relates to my world. I also see friends there and meet new people, and hear about struggles some are going through. Then I can pray for someone. What an honor to pray for someone who is sick. It is a very intimate thing to pray for a friend that has cancer, and is possibly not going to be here a year from now. You see I am very healthy, I don't take that for granted. Every time I hear of someone I know that has cancer, I of course think, how awful. But then I can't help but think "It could be me, or worse yet one of my children, or a daughter-in-law, or my precious grand daughter". I am so very grateful for every day here on this earth. That is why I go to church every Sunday. God has given me so much, including a huge grateful heart.
Remember the name of my blog comes from 'a little of this a little of that'. I never promised to always be funny. So today you got a little history about me. Some very difficult, personal things, things that are difficult to hear. Hurtful, hateful, sad and embarrassing, and people sometimes squirm in their seats when they hear this. I am not shy about sharing personal things. I believe we need to learn from each other.
My history is relevant because my trials have helped to mold me into the woman I have become. And I have been working hard the last several years so I can learn to live alone....yes, alone, with Aleta. When you learn as a young girl that caring for everyone around you gets you accolades and gives you some sense of satisfaction, that's all you know. Then that turns into a lifetime of caring - but you have forgotten about YOU. The last few years I have been learning to care for me. I am comfortable being alone, and have a clear idea what I want. We can all learn from each other.
Writing and sharing is a wonderful outlet for me. I hope I can impact peoples lives by sharing my stories. Thank you for letting me into your hearts. Sincerely, Aleta
"The way in which you endure that which you must endure, is more important than the crisis itself."
Harry Truman
Saturday, February 14, 2015
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! The day of love, romance, red roses, and of course chocolate. My favorite mood lifter. But I always thought it was the caffeine in the cocoa. Actually, there are two naturally occurring chemicals in chocolate: tryptophan, which releases serotonin into the brain, and phenylethylamine, so called the love drug. This 'love drug' quickens the pulse, causes alertness, and makes people happy. Wait...I'm not through, eating chocolate also releases endorphins into the brain and they are known to lessen levels of stress and pain! Wow, I know what I am going to buy the next time I get tired or down!
Isn't Google a fabulous tool? I must google at least a dozen times a day. I love it! I love learning weird facts, uncommon words, interesting stuff about people, for sure health and wellness, and quotes. Do you see where I'm going with this? I am always the mom and professor, but now I can share my nuggets with you, my readers. By the way, thank you for listening.
Yes, today is February 14th. But since I don't have someone to share a big fat box of chocolates with, I had a normal Saturday. I went to an Apple workshop on iMovie. My latest project is learning how to make videos- edit, add music, credits, the whole deal. It's not as fancy as it sounds. But it is pretty techy for me, and I am darn proud of my expressive self. I'm getting to know all the Apple employees at my store. I call them 'the blue shirts'.
On the way home, I was planning on going to the gym, to pump iron....but we live in a resort, and everyone from the whole Bay Area descended on our little coastal town. It was the most traffic I have ever seen in years, and we had gorgeous weather.
Okay, yes, I did have some new smiles and an email. Nothing exciting to report today.
Have a great 3 day weekend! Aleta
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
from- The Little Prince
Yes, today is February 14th. But since I don't have someone to share a big fat box of chocolates with, I had a normal Saturday. I went to an Apple workshop on iMovie. My latest project is learning how to make videos- edit, add music, credits, the whole deal. It's not as fancy as it sounds. But it is pretty techy for me, and I am darn proud of my expressive self. I'm getting to know all the Apple employees at my store. I call them 'the blue shirts'.
On the way home, I was planning on going to the gym, to pump iron....but we live in a resort, and everyone from the whole Bay Area descended on our little coastal town. It was the most traffic I have ever seen in years, and we had gorgeous weather.
Okay, yes, I did have some new smiles and an email. Nothing exciting to report today.
Have a great 3 day weekend! Aleta
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
from- The Little Prince
Friday, February 13, 2015
THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE
This will be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. At least that is my intention. To be authentic and real and informative. I love to learn and grow and change. I hope to instill that desire in my family, friends, and my precious readers that I don't know. We are all beautifully different and I am so grateful God made us that way.
Why did it take me until now to start my new blog? Honestly, I didn't know what I would write about. Until today....this very moment....and here we are. So what changed? I have learned that I like to solve problems, an interesting trait for a person that is very expressive, outgoing, and emotional. I love that about me. I have many different and almost opposite traits that make up who I am becoming.
"Let me think about that." Five very important words I had to learn. Words that can stop us from saying things that can hurt people, or agreeing to do things we really don't have the time for, a myriad of things. These words probably have helped me to do just that - think about it! Problems get solved when we take the time not rushing into responses, commitments, and projects.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Some very exciting things have been happening to me. Starting this new blog is one of them. I did something I never thought I would do, even spent years saying - I will never do that! Remember the old adage "Never say never!" I signed up for online dating - the name should be perhaps "sign up to be uncomfortable, frustrated, a little scared, roller coaster ride of emotions, to check email 100 times a day, to not sleep, to go crazy, be embarrassed on a daily basis...any of these would be suitable! Yeah!! I have felt or done all of these things, and in only 1 week. Yikes!! However, it is getting easier and more fun, and I have my own personal dating counselor, my good friend Julie.
Sometimes she sends smiles/winks for me (when we are together cooking or having girlfriend time). I read profiles to her about the possible matches I received from the website. She can be objective because of course I am involved emotionally. I had one creepy guy that taught me to be cautious and start out slowly sharing. I didn't give him any personal info, but got too excited. Yup, that's me! And all of a sudden his tone changed, and he said things that showed me he was writing to many ladies. Two red flags, otherwise this has been a very good idea. "You've got mail"...who loves that movie?
I do because it makes me happy, makes me laugh and smile, and I am an incurable romantic.
My day starts with coffee and a glass of water. But then I get to go to my computer and see those wonderful words -you've got mail, more specifically, the number of emails that shows in my inbox, or on my iPhone. And I am in my pj's just like Meg Ryan. This morning the number was 2. One was a smile, and a short sentence saying hello. They have several choices, then the receiver has the option to read his profile and respond back. The second was an email from a man I actually sent a smile to. That is a tough one sometimes. More about that later. I misread his email and thought he wanted to pursue writing. Think again, Aleta, rather....read more carefully, and don't get so excited, Aleta! Anyway, I apologized saying I misread his email, I wished him well, and told him I read his profile and if his current interest (a lady he recently met online) changes, to get back to me. Ohhh, thank God I can be clear-headed and accountable, and immediately take care of a faux pas!
There have been 128 members check me out, 23 emails sent to me, 48 smiles, 7 IM's, 3 added me to their favorites. Then the website has my files showing everything from me, this is very helpful, because when life gets really exciting...how can a girl keep track of all her admirers?!
Life is exciting! I have worked hard all my life. Whether it was raising my 3 precious sons with their father, taking care of family members, taking care of an older second husband, or working a job. It is now my time to learn to be with 'Aleta'. That has been a work in process.
A big thank you to my 3 friends, Julie, Keith and Terri, who came up with my blog name. I loved it right away. A little of this a little of that. Perfect, because that's what I am all about. Thank you!!
I send loving thoughts and prayers to all of you! Aleta ps no fears, it may be short sometimes!
"On the Simple Abundance path we begin to learn how to pause. As we bring the principles of gratitude, simplicity, and order into our lives, harmony emerges." author- Sarah Ban Breathnach
Why did it take me until now to start my new blog? Honestly, I didn't know what I would write about. Until today....this very moment....and here we are. So what changed? I have learned that I like to solve problems, an interesting trait for a person that is very expressive, outgoing, and emotional. I love that about me. I have many different and almost opposite traits that make up who I am becoming.
"Let me think about that." Five very important words I had to learn. Words that can stop us from saying things that can hurt people, or agreeing to do things we really don't have the time for, a myriad of things. These words probably have helped me to do just that - think about it! Problems get solved when we take the time not rushing into responses, commitments, and projects.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Some very exciting things have been happening to me. Starting this new blog is one of them. I did something I never thought I would do, even spent years saying - I will never do that! Remember the old adage "Never say never!" I signed up for online dating - the name should be perhaps "sign up to be uncomfortable, frustrated, a little scared, roller coaster ride of emotions, to check email 100 times a day, to not sleep, to go crazy, be embarrassed on a daily basis...any of these would be suitable! Yeah!! I have felt or done all of these things, and in only 1 week. Yikes!! However, it is getting easier and more fun, and I have my own personal dating counselor, my good friend Julie.
Sometimes she sends smiles/winks for me (when we are together cooking or having girlfriend time). I read profiles to her about the possible matches I received from the website. She can be objective because of course I am involved emotionally. I had one creepy guy that taught me to be cautious and start out slowly sharing. I didn't give him any personal info, but got too excited. Yup, that's me! And all of a sudden his tone changed, and he said things that showed me he was writing to many ladies. Two red flags, otherwise this has been a very good idea. "You've got mail"...who loves that movie?
I do because it makes me happy, makes me laugh and smile, and I am an incurable romantic.
My day starts with coffee and a glass of water. But then I get to go to my computer and see those wonderful words -you've got mail, more specifically, the number of emails that shows in my inbox, or on my iPhone. And I am in my pj's just like Meg Ryan. This morning the number was 2. One was a smile, and a short sentence saying hello. They have several choices, then the receiver has the option to read his profile and respond back. The second was an email from a man I actually sent a smile to. That is a tough one sometimes. More about that later. I misread his email and thought he wanted to pursue writing. Think again, Aleta, rather....read more carefully, and don't get so excited, Aleta! Anyway, I apologized saying I misread his email, I wished him well, and told him I read his profile and if his current interest (a lady he recently met online) changes, to get back to me. Ohhh, thank God I can be clear-headed and accountable, and immediately take care of a faux pas!
There have been 128 members check me out, 23 emails sent to me, 48 smiles, 7 IM's, 3 added me to their favorites. Then the website has my files showing everything from me, this is very helpful, because when life gets really exciting...how can a girl keep track of all her admirers?!
Life is exciting! I have worked hard all my life. Whether it was raising my 3 precious sons with their father, taking care of family members, taking care of an older second husband, or working a job. It is now my time to learn to be with 'Aleta'. That has been a work in process.
A big thank you to my 3 friends, Julie, Keith and Terri, who came up with my blog name. I loved it right away. A little of this a little of that. Perfect, because that's what I am all about. Thank you!!
I send loving thoughts and prayers to all of you! Aleta ps no fears, it may be short sometimes!
"On the Simple Abundance path we begin to learn how to pause. As we bring the principles of gratitude, simplicity, and order into our lives, harmony emerges." author- Sarah Ban Breathnach
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)