WHAT DOES YOUR PAST SAY ABOUT YOU?

It's Sunday and the beautiful weather continued, bringing with it lots of people - again. Blue skies, no wind, turquoise blue water, and it's February, usually reserved for wintry days. Hopefully, we will have more rain. But honestly, I did enjoy my walk along the beach with my friend, Julie. Capri's,  a t-shirt, and a camera was all you needed. We walked for an hour, hoping to see a whale or two out in Pacific. The news has reported they are migrating, but we had no such luck today. We did get to see many pelicans, dogs romping in the sand, pink ice plants growing along the cliffs, lilies, and people walking, jogging and bicycling. No gym today but the walk was beautiful.

Sunday I typically go to church. And today was no different. Why do I go to church every week? Why not stay home once in awhile and read in bed, or watch a movie, or finish a project I'm working on? The only time I don't go to church is when I am away on vacation, or sick. Why is it important to me? Because God has given me so much. I am so grateful for everything I have been given, and that is not to say material things. I am talking about health, and babies when we were told I could not get pregnant, raising 3 sons and living pay check to pay check when they were young, and we had a good family life.

I was almost raped at 18 walking down the street in a quiet little town in San Mateo County. He grabbed me from behind, putting his arms over my shoulders, touching my breasts. I naively, but simply, said "My God, what are you doing?" I believe these simple words brought him to an awareness of "yes, what am I doing?" He was never rough or forceful, but he immediately let go and ran off down the street. I was so scared I just ran home, never turning around to see him.

My step father molested me as a young teen. I could have been so angry and bitter, and so messed up for the rest of my life without a real father to hug me, to talk to me like fathers do, to protect me and tell me about the world, to ask about my friends, all the important things fathers and mothers do. But I was never angry and I have always kept busy trying to forget the bad times, because there was always something good to focus on. I believe God gave me a strength and tenacity to withstand the difficult times and focus on the positives. We were a family of five, with me being the oldest, with one brother and one sister. I was very motherly and I sometimes disciplined my siblings better than my parents. That was the part I played, and I fit right into the role. I took care of everyone including my parents.

I go to church every week because I need to, it makes me feel whole, it encourages me to learn more about the Bible, God's word, and how it relates to my world. I also see friends there and meet new people,  and hear about struggles some are going through. Then I can pray for someone. What an honor to pray for someone who is sick. It is a very intimate thing to pray for a friend that has cancer, and is possibly not going to be here a year from now. You see I am very healthy, I don't take that for granted. Every time I hear of someone I know that has cancer, I of course think, how awful. But then I can't help but think "It could be me, or worse yet one of my children, or a daughter-in-law, or my precious grand daughter".  I am so very grateful for every day here on this earth. That is why I go to church every Sunday. God has given me so much,  including a huge grateful heart.

Remember the name of my blog comes from 'a little of this a little of that'. I never promised to always be funny. So today you got a little history about me. Some very difficult, personal things, things that are difficult to hear. Hurtful, hateful, sad and embarrassing, and people sometimes squirm in their seats when they hear this. I am not shy about sharing personal things. I believe we need to learn from each other.

My history is relevant because my trials have helped to mold me into the woman I have become. And I have been working hard the last several years so I can learn to live alone....yes, alone, with Aleta. When you learn as a young girl that caring for everyone around you gets you accolades and gives you some sense of satisfaction, that's all you know. Then that turns into a lifetime of caring - but you have forgotten about YOU. The last few years I have been learning to care for me. I am comfortable being alone, and have a clear idea what I want. We can all learn from each other.

Writing and sharing is a wonderful outlet for me. I hope I can impact peoples lives by sharing my stories. Thank you for letting me into your hearts.      Sincerely, Aleta

"The way in which you endure that which you must endure, is more important than the crisis itself."
Harry Truman