Yesterdays post was written at my kids home in the valley. I am back at my home now and pretty tired - lots of excitement the last two days. I had my first date from the online dating site! He was a gentleman, we met at a restaurant for lunch, and talked for a couple of hours. We got along, laughed a little bit, and the conversation was pretty natural. He even brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. Yes, we will see each other again, sometime. That's all you get now!
The problem for me with dating is I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I was never good at it in my 20's, (too sensitive) but I will have to get better at it now. Because I believe with all this 'wisdom' I always talk about - ha ha - I should be able to find my knight in shining armor. For me it's important to have a soul mate, best friend, lover and husband. I want all of it - romance, flowers, love, friendship, chocolate, love notes on my pillow, stimulating conversation - all of it! Honestly, I would rather be alone than make a mistake and be unhappy. Because I know I can be alone now, with me.
I am not afraid to dream, I have always been a dreamer, with a big imagination. It has helped me pursue my writing and creative artsy side. When I am making something, whether it's writing, or cards with my photos, or videography, I go away. It is therapy and I don't think about anything else. It is very relaxing and fulfilling. I am doing something I love and creating something for others to enjoy. For that time, my world is quiet and my self-talk is quiet. My self-talk was not always good, very negative and destructive.
This is new for me, brand new. I feel very blessed to have come to a point that I am comfortable with myself. More self confident than I ever imagined and my creative side is surfacing - writing and videos, and my Mac. This is huge! This is coming from a little 7 year old girl who over-heard her mother and teacher have a talk about her - Me. I heard the teacher say (paraphrased) I was not doing very well, not keeping up. What I heard was I wasn't very smart and that was that. Until my thirties I believed them. Then I went on a quest - I was hungry to learn - for me and no one else!
Why is this important? Why talk about this? Most people have unbelievably sad things happen to them, and sometimes they don't recover from them. I am not the only person that this has happened to. And some have had far worse. But for some reason I feel compelled to write about these things. If we can pick up a book, or many books, or find a friend to talk with, or find some solace in someone's story that can help us.Why not reach out and help? That is my mission.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
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