Good communication is important in every relationship. Especially with men and women seeking a long term relationship. Women want security and love, and men want respect. We all want respect of course, but it's most important that men see it and feel it from a girlfriend or wife. Respect comes in different forms. For instance, if I promised I would do something for my husband, I respect him enough to keep my promise. Keeping promises shows respect. And a promise isn't necessarily a promise- meaning ' I promise', but if I said I would do something, that is a promise. Personally I have always been that way, even when my sons were little. If I said they could have a popsicle, they got a popsicle.
Listening not only with our ears, but also our eyes and body language. Listening so we can remember and ask questions later. We want to be interested in what each other has to say, because we as women also like to be heard. Sharing thoughts and feelings is an intimate exchange, and can be very precious. When we share personal things with each other, no one else in the world knows, that alone can be very powerful and special. That type of communication creates a closeness that is very personal.
I mentioned body language. We have all had conversations where we know the other person is not listening at all. I am talking about a party now. Sometimes people are easily distracted, but sometimes they are downright rude and can't even pretend to listen. Listening with the entire body, eyes focused on the other person, no wondering eyes when people walk by. It is difficult, and I have been guilty of not listening well. It's best to ask questions about what they are saying whenever possible, it shows our interest. Back to a personal relationship. My thinking is if I love this man, I want to hear what he has to say, how he thinks, what he feels, everything. And he in turn will respect me and listen to my emotional, female stuff. I am talking about me here, because I am pretty emotional and expressive. And I am usually attracted to a strong, quiet, intelligent man. Opposites attract I have read.
We all want someone who completely understands us. That necessitates us to be willing to listen and learn about each other. I am talking about a marriage now. After all, we put in a lot of effort in the courtship. Staying married takes hard work. And loving, understanding, listening, sharing all are part of a good relationship/marriage.
Confrontation is part of any relationship. And here is where our good communication skills show up. In confrontation we need to listen extremely well. Never use 'you did this', etc. We need to learn to use 'I messages'. Meaning 'I felt sad when.....'. This shows we are not blaming, but we are showing how we feel. Listening to what the other person is saying, why they are disagreeing, or why they feel hurt. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree. Hopefully that happens without anger. We need to let the other person talk until they are finished. Usually the voice will drop a few octaves and they will become more calm. It is not fun, and is very uncomfortable for me. But we all have to go through things like this. I have found that being accountable, for my part is key. Obviously apologizing is very important.
It's fun for me to meet new people, to get to know them, watch them, and understand them. We are all different personalities, I always say that, and thank God for our differences. Learning to talk with different types of people, gives us an edge that is very valuable. Let's start by learning about ourselves and our family and friends.
Thank you! Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you are willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life." - Brian Tracy, author
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
WHAT, NOT THOSE UGLY GRANDMA STOCKINGS!?
Life seems to always remind us our body is aging, thank you very much! Even a 25 year old gets injuries and can't perform like she did as a 16 year old. I have been ignoring a dull ache in my right leg, not forever, but maybe 9 months. It is a varicose vein that needs to come out. A gift from having 3 babies. I was very surprised to learn it will require surgery, with an anesthesiologist. Oh, brother....what makes me think I am not supposed to have health issues? I can be a little arrogant about my health, which is ridiculous with grown children.
I feel compelled to write about this mundane subject because I know many people who, for different reasons, need to hear this. When my appointment was over my doctor said I should buy compression stockings. Guess what my response was? Whaaaaaat.....those ugly, old lady stockings? Okay, I didn't really say that, but I thought it. I did say "Do I have to, after all I am going to have surgery and then it will be all gone." I like my doctor, he has a good sense of humor, is very personable and hip, and I like how he treats his staff. (Please read the medical benefits listed below.)
We had a hilarious conversation. He showed me his socks, and my response was, Well of course, it's your profession. Then he said, I stand on my legs for 12 hours, five days a week. Of course I realized he was right and I was being stubborn and playful. His staff members said they wore them and found them helpful. Still being stubborn, I thought to myself yes, you work for him. Guess what I bought before I left the office? I put them on when I got into my car.
The first few hours I was well aware of them. Now I wear them when it's not hot. Under my jeans, or capris. (Sometimes in my capris.) This was about 5 days ago and I have 95% reduced dull aches! I cannot believe how great my legs feel. On the treadmill with an incline, a brisk walk with friends, a hike in the woods, anything I do they feel great. I'm not sure how to describe it, but to say my legs feel strong and very energized. At the end of the day, I take them off when I get ready for bed, and I rarely have pain from the varicose vein.
The first few hours I was well aware of them. Now I wear them when it's not hot. Under my jeans, or capris. (Sometimes in my capris.) This was about 5 days ago and I have 95% reduced dull aches! I cannot believe how great my legs feel. On the treadmill with an incline, a brisk walk with friends, a hike in the woods, anything I do they feel great. I'm not sure how to describe it, but to say my legs feel strong and very energized. At the end of the day, I take them off when I get ready for bed, and I rarely have pain from the varicose vein.
They are not only for older people, or people with varicose vein problems, or sickly people. They are for athletes who want to increase their performance, and decrease their chances of injuries. A friend of mine who runs races in the wilderness, says he uses them, and has noticed they have become very popular. They are of course for people who are on their feet all day working.
I hope this information is helpful to many of you. Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"The groundwork of all happiness is health." Leigh Hunt - English critic, poet and essayist
I hope this information is helpful to many of you. Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"The groundwork of all happiness is health." Leigh Hunt - English critic, poet and essayist
- Improves oxygen delivery to muscles; helps muscle recovery
- Reduces foot and leg swelling (great for long airplane travel)
- Reduces lactic acid production
- Proven cramp relief
- Boosts performance for athletes
- Calf support and injury prevention
- decreases pain from varicose veins
- Stimulates blood flow and improves circulation
- helps any worker who stands or sits for hours at a time
Friday, April 24, 2015
FAITH AND LOVE OF A PARENT
I recently read an incredible story of faith, perseverance and love. Heather Mercer and Dayna Curry arrived in Afghanistan in March 2001 to give aid to the Afghanis. On August 3 the Taliban arrested the women and held them in an Afghani prison. Their trial began on September 1. Some of us may remember the story, but the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, 9-11-01, over-shadowed their story. They were held for 105 days and eventually freed and rescued by US Special Forces, and then brought home to America.
During the 105 days of incarceration in a Taliban prison, Heather's father worked tirelessly to secure their release. Every day he talked with government officials, interviewed countless reporters, and negotiated with members of the Taliban. Rumors of course were everywhere, on radio and television, rumors of possible execution, or at least a year long prison sentence.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a Taliban prison. But worse would be knowing my daughter was in a prison, and I was helpless to do anything. During all this terror, Heather's father announced his desire to take her place in prison and pay the penalty for the crime for which they were all being accused.
As we all know they were released and sent home. But I can't imagine the terror they felt on a daily basis, the abuse they took, the malnutrition they endured, and perhaps the beatings. Three and a half months is a very long time to endure such a terrifying sentence.
Two years later, 2003, Heather returned to Iraq to serve the Muslims. Heather continues to serve as a missionary and is cofounder of Hope Afghanistan, a funding organization for humanitarian relief. She is coauthor, along with Dana Curry, of Prisoners of Hope: The Story of our Captivity and Freedom in Afghanistan.
Thank you, good day and God Bless! Aleta
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." Nelson Mandela
During the 105 days of incarceration in a Taliban prison, Heather's father worked tirelessly to secure their release. Every day he talked with government officials, interviewed countless reporters, and negotiated with members of the Taliban. Rumors of course were everywhere, on radio and television, rumors of possible execution, or at least a year long prison sentence.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a Taliban prison. But worse would be knowing my daughter was in a prison, and I was helpless to do anything. During all this terror, Heather's father announced his desire to take her place in prison and pay the penalty for the crime for which they were all being accused.
As we all know they were released and sent home. But I can't imagine the terror they felt on a daily basis, the abuse they took, the malnutrition they endured, and perhaps the beatings. Three and a half months is a very long time to endure such a terrifying sentence.
Two years later, 2003, Heather returned to Iraq to serve the Muslims. Heather continues to serve as a missionary and is cofounder of Hope Afghanistan, a funding organization for humanitarian relief. She is coauthor, along with Dana Curry, of Prisoners of Hope: The Story of our Captivity and Freedom in Afghanistan.
Thank you, good day and God Bless! Aleta
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." Nelson Mandela
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
LET'S DO SOMETHING TO SAVE THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY
CORRECTION: All of the butterflies are endangered, please pass this info on.
I have always been enamored with monarch butterflies. And was horrified to read we may lose them in the future.
Millions of North American butterflies head south for the winter. But experts are concerned because since the 1990's, their numbers have decreased a horrendous 90%. The U.S. Fish and Game Wildlife Service announced a year long review that may mean the butterflies could be put on the endangered Species list.
One of the problems is the insecticide used widely, plus acreage planted of crops they can't consume. There are 2 beautiful sanctuaries in Mexico, El Rosario and Sierra Cincua, about 60 miles from Mexico City.
But there is hope if we plant some native plants. Specifically vervain, black-eyed Susans, and especially milkweed. Milkweed is extremely important for Monarch babies, they can't survive without it.
Now is the perfect time to plant, with the blooming time April - October. I definitely hope to visit these sanctuaries, because I can't imagine how amazing it would be to see billions of butterflies on a tree. I read the trees lean with the weight of the butterflies! Weight of butterflies?? Isn't that astounding! Please pass this on to all your friends!
Thank you, good night and God Bless! Aleta
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Richard Bach - author
I have always been enamored with monarch butterflies. And was horrified to read we may lose them in the future.
Millions of North American butterflies head south for the winter. But experts are concerned because since the 1990's, their numbers have decreased a horrendous 90%. The U.S. Fish and Game Wildlife Service announced a year long review that may mean the butterflies could be put on the endangered Species list.
One of the problems is the insecticide used widely, plus acreage planted of crops they can't consume. There are 2 beautiful sanctuaries in Mexico, El Rosario and Sierra Cincua, about 60 miles from Mexico City.
But there is hope if we plant some native plants. Specifically vervain, black-eyed Susans, and especially milkweed. Milkweed is extremely important for Monarch babies, they can't survive without it.
Now is the perfect time to plant, with the blooming time April - October. I definitely hope to visit these sanctuaries, because I can't imagine how amazing it would be to see billions of butterflies on a tree. I read the trees lean with the weight of the butterflies! Weight of butterflies?? Isn't that astounding! Please pass this on to all your friends!
Thank you, good night and God Bless! Aleta
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Richard Bach - author
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
LIKING OURSELVES...IT IS IMPERATIVE!
The experts always say "if you don't like yourself, don't expect others to like you". We might ask how do people know if I don't like myself? Confidence and the lack of, shows in our attitude, tasks, everything we do on a daily basis. How we carry ourselves, dress, personal hygiene, relationships, work, and certainly health.
If you have been reading my blog since I started in early February, you know I overheard my mother and teacher talking about me. They said I was not very smart. I don't know the exact words, but essentially I knew what they meant! (I was about 8 years old). At the time, I don't remember it hurting, but of course I filed it away and then referred to it often, to substantiate their findings. If I didn't do well in math, I remembered....that's right, I am not very smart, so why try. Any class I took that was difficult, was because I was not very smart. I never considered what a boring subject, and I don't remember getting any encouraging words. And I don't remember any help with homework from either parent.
We have all been given a wonderful thing called a brain and as we get older we see the world and all the possibilities for us as human beings. Thank God I am a very positive person, happy, and hungry to learn. As it turned out, and as shocking as it would be to that terrible teacher, I am smart and they were wrong! But what is even sadder to me is to think of all the precious children that have overheard words like these. Children whose lives were changed forever, children who lost the desire to even try because after all, people they loved would only tell them the truth.
This is a topic very near to my heart for obvious reasons. Let's share with others how we have overcome adversities, how we didn't listen to negative nay-sayers, or how one person in our life was an encourager and told us we could do whatever we wanted to do. We need to keep in mind that we would be willing to work harder than anyone else. Nothing comes easy in this world. As we see all the Hollywood people, and athletes, extremely gifted people, and gorgeous, perfect people, we need to learn to Not compare ourselves. There will always be people that are better than us, and worse than us. There will always be people that are better looking than us and worse looking. And there will always be people that are smarter than us, and not as smart as us. A great quote I read from Theodore Roosevelt "Comparison is the thief of joy." Comparing your work, life, your looks anything, only robs us of happiness, it can suck the life right out of us.
As I said a few weeks back, age equals wisdom and I love the wisdom I have gained! I also love that I have always been hungry to learn. That is where reading good books is the best thing to increase wisdom, especially if one is still young. Also with age comes a sense of confidence and we know it doesn't matter what others think about us. Please read my blogs "I don't Care What Others Think About Me". Steam was coming out of my ears in some of those writings. Passion feels so good when you love what you do. If you notice the quote below, I am going to borrow it as my own, because those words could be mine!
Thank you, have a great day, and God Bless! Aleta
"I've worked very hard at understanding myself, learning to be assertive. I'm past the point where I worry about people liking me." across Pam Dauber
If you have been reading my blog since I started in early February, you know I overheard my mother and teacher talking about me. They said I was not very smart. I don't know the exact words, but essentially I knew what they meant! (I was about 8 years old). At the time, I don't remember it hurting, but of course I filed it away and then referred to it often, to substantiate their findings. If I didn't do well in math, I remembered....that's right, I am not very smart, so why try. Any class I took that was difficult, was because I was not very smart. I never considered what a boring subject, and I don't remember getting any encouraging words. And I don't remember any help with homework from either parent.
We have all been given a wonderful thing called a brain and as we get older we see the world and all the possibilities for us as human beings. Thank God I am a very positive person, happy, and hungry to learn. As it turned out, and as shocking as it would be to that terrible teacher, I am smart and they were wrong! But what is even sadder to me is to think of all the precious children that have overheard words like these. Children whose lives were changed forever, children who lost the desire to even try because after all, people they loved would only tell them the truth.
This is a topic very near to my heart for obvious reasons. Let's share with others how we have overcome adversities, how we didn't listen to negative nay-sayers, or how one person in our life was an encourager and told us we could do whatever we wanted to do. We need to keep in mind that we would be willing to work harder than anyone else. Nothing comes easy in this world. As we see all the Hollywood people, and athletes, extremely gifted people, and gorgeous, perfect people, we need to learn to Not compare ourselves. There will always be people that are better than us, and worse than us. There will always be people that are better looking than us and worse looking. And there will always be people that are smarter than us, and not as smart as us. A great quote I read from Theodore Roosevelt "Comparison is the thief of joy." Comparing your work, life, your looks anything, only robs us of happiness, it can suck the life right out of us.
As I said a few weeks back, age equals wisdom and I love the wisdom I have gained! I also love that I have always been hungry to learn. That is where reading good books is the best thing to increase wisdom, especially if one is still young. Also with age comes a sense of confidence and we know it doesn't matter what others think about us. Please read my blogs "I don't Care What Others Think About Me". Steam was coming out of my ears in some of those writings. Passion feels so good when you love what you do. If you notice the quote below, I am going to borrow it as my own, because those words could be mine!
Thank you, have a great day, and God Bless! Aleta
"I've worked very hard at understanding myself, learning to be assertive. I'm past the point where I worry about people liking me." across Pam Dauber
Monday, April 20, 2015
PERSISTENCE- WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?
Today is Monday and I went to the gym in the morning and worked/volunteered in the afternoon. Before leaving the house I wanted to get accurate information so I could return a pair of running shoes to Zappos. The customer service woman was very helpful and polite. When my business was done, I told her how wonderful the shoes were. This style had about 20 very positive comments about the comfort and quality. As it turned out, she had spent 3 1/2 hours on the computer last night looking for running shoes. Not only that, she needed the exact size I was returning. So I said wouldn't that be funny if you buy the pair that I am returning. I told her I would put some little note in a shoe to let her know they were mine. I put in a tiny paper with Hi and a heart! Obviously from a nutcase!! But I had fun. It is probably silly, but I had a nice time talking with her.
One more cool thing happened. Here is where persistence pays off. My friend Julie wanted these shoes in a wide, but they did not have a wide in her size. I asked this lady and at first glance, she said "I'm sorry we don't have a 7 1/2 wide". I told her at the outset that I think she will find them. She then looked at the men's shoes in this style, but no, they didn't have that style. Then she looked for a size 7 wide. Voila! They had a 7 wide (I had originally said she might wear a 7). So I get in the car to finally go to the gym and work out for an hour. I start the car and begin to back up, talking with Julie to tell her the shoes are on the way. When all of a sudden I realize I am talking on my landline, in the car, thinking it was my cell. Lol!!! I screamed with laughter!! In my car using a big old landline thinking it was a cell, it just struck me as very funny. I am my own "home entertainment system"!!! I love to laugh!!
Back to persistence....it is defined as the quality that allows someone to continue doing something, or trying to do something even though it is difficult, or opposed by other people. Persistence and tenacity are very good traits to have, in my humble opinion. However, I think they should always be accompanied by a healthy positive attitude.
I am very easy to get along with, I will always listen to people, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't like arguing and fighting, and I try to be a good listener. But I can be very persistent when I feel the information I received was wrong, or I know there is another way, or if perhaps someone doesn't feel as strongly as I do about the situation. We have great computers called brains, and they can do amazing things for us.
If we feel strongly about something, and we know we are right, that is when we need to persist until it is finished. It doesn't mean we need to be demanding, or mean and nasty. Kindness and fairness always wins people over, and people respect that. At the moment they might disagree, but they respect and admire the tenacity.
A friend once said "when in doubt do what's hardest...the most difficult path is invariably the right one". Wow, isn't that an incredible statement?! It's not easy and definitely not fun, but in the end, it's the best choice.
Thank you, good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the U.S.
One more cool thing happened. Here is where persistence pays off. My friend Julie wanted these shoes in a wide, but they did not have a wide in her size. I asked this lady and at first glance, she said "I'm sorry we don't have a 7 1/2 wide". I told her at the outset that I think she will find them. She then looked at the men's shoes in this style, but no, they didn't have that style. Then she looked for a size 7 wide. Voila! They had a 7 wide (I had originally said she might wear a 7). So I get in the car to finally go to the gym and work out for an hour. I start the car and begin to back up, talking with Julie to tell her the shoes are on the way. When all of a sudden I realize I am talking on my landline, in the car, thinking it was my cell. Lol!!! I screamed with laughter!! In my car using a big old landline thinking it was a cell, it just struck me as very funny. I am my own "home entertainment system"!!! I love to laugh!!
Back to persistence....it is defined as the quality that allows someone to continue doing something, or trying to do something even though it is difficult, or opposed by other people. Persistence and tenacity are very good traits to have, in my humble opinion. However, I think they should always be accompanied by a healthy positive attitude.
I am very easy to get along with, I will always listen to people, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't like arguing and fighting, and I try to be a good listener. But I can be very persistent when I feel the information I received was wrong, or I know there is another way, or if perhaps someone doesn't feel as strongly as I do about the situation. We have great computers called brains, and they can do amazing things for us.
If we feel strongly about something, and we know we are right, that is when we need to persist until it is finished. It doesn't mean we need to be demanding, or mean and nasty. Kindness and fairness always wins people over, and people respect that. At the moment they might disagree, but they respect and admire the tenacity.
A friend once said "when in doubt do what's hardest...the most difficult path is invariably the right one". Wow, isn't that an incredible statement?! It's not easy and definitely not fun, but in the end, it's the best choice.
Thank you, good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the U.S.
Friday, April 17, 2015
GETTING BACK TO WRITING
I arrived back to the SF bay area last night (actually April 15th) and had a great time visiting my kids and baby grand daughter. It always feel good to sleep in my own bed and come back to my routines, my comforts, my humble abode.
This was the first time I didn't write (for an extended period of time) since I started my blog. I almost worried about it, thinking did I lose a step, will I be able to get back on task? I decided not to let it worry me, because this isn't a job...it's for me, it makes me happy, it's my therapy. And the more I write, the more I write! I have to sit and think about what it is I feel like saying, what has been going on in my life, what is important to me, what did I learn today, did anything significant happen today, is there anything I want to share with others?
One of the best habits I have developed over the years, is keeping a notebook. Remember the Composition Books? They are bound with heavy thread, black and white, not meant for tearing out pages. Normally used for college class notes, and tests. When I get an idea, an expression, a thought, a quote, or a great word, it goes in my notebook. Rather one of them, I have several. Even watching TV and certainly reading, great ideas come up. I immediately write it down, because sometimes I forget it, or hear something, and that great word or idea is gone, sometimes forever.
Several years ago I read a great book by, none other than, Stephen King. Not a horror story but on the topic of writing. The name I believe was 'Stephen King On Writing'. He emphasized writing simply constructed sentences, cut out the fluff. All writers are readers, a very important ingredient in learning to write. And be true to yourself, don't try and write like the last author you read. It will be cumbersome and won't flow. I tend to write like I talk.
I will close now and look forward to writing on Monday.
Good day and God Bless!
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." Mark Twain
This was the first time I didn't write (for an extended period of time) since I started my blog. I almost worried about it, thinking did I lose a step, will I be able to get back on task? I decided not to let it worry me, because this isn't a job...it's for me, it makes me happy, it's my therapy. And the more I write, the more I write! I have to sit and think about what it is I feel like saying, what has been going on in my life, what is important to me, what did I learn today, did anything significant happen today, is there anything I want to share with others?
One of the best habits I have developed over the years, is keeping a notebook. Remember the Composition Books? They are bound with heavy thread, black and white, not meant for tearing out pages. Normally used for college class notes, and tests. When I get an idea, an expression, a thought, a quote, or a great word, it goes in my notebook. Rather one of them, I have several. Even watching TV and certainly reading, great ideas come up. I immediately write it down, because sometimes I forget it, or hear something, and that great word or idea is gone, sometimes forever.
Several years ago I read a great book by, none other than, Stephen King. Not a horror story but on the topic of writing. The name I believe was 'Stephen King On Writing'. He emphasized writing simply constructed sentences, cut out the fluff. All writers are readers, a very important ingredient in learning to write. And be true to yourself, don't try and write like the last author you read. It will be cumbersome and won't flow. I tend to write like I talk.
I will close now and look forward to writing on Monday.
Good day and God Bless!
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." Mark Twain
Friday, April 10, 2015
VACATION UPDATE
I am visiting my kids in the Midwest this week and I had a great, non-stop flight here on Tuesday. My grand daughter, Rosalie is so adorable and quite the character. She loves people and is very outgoing, one of my daughters-in-law knick-names her the papparazzi baby. Every time a smart phone is put in front of her, she smiles like a Hollywood celebrity!
Two of my 3 sons live here and only 5 miles apart. We have dinners together, talking, lots of laughing, playing card games, or scrabble, uno, clue, ticket to ride, and yes- me learning to like games! And of course I hog Rosalie. #nonnaisarosaliehog. I made a favorite family dinner last night, meatloaf and mashed potatoes (with a sweet potato), and fresh string beans. The best is my meatloaf sandwiches the next day.
Yesterday when my son and I went to Starbucks while his car was serviced, he taught me Casino. It wasn't pretty at first - I never had the patience to sit still and learn games until recently. I do know the suits but that was about it. We laughed so hard people were looking at us - probably jealous they weren't having as much fun, Lol!! Anyway, I plan to teach my friends Julie and Loren. I am sure it will necessitate a few phone calls. My youngest son gets so frustrated with me, and then I just burst out laughing, it's quite a funny scene.
That's it for now so I'll sign off.
Good day and God Bless! Aleta
Two of my 3 sons live here and only 5 miles apart. We have dinners together, talking, lots of laughing, playing card games, or scrabble, uno, clue, ticket to ride, and yes- me learning to like games! And of course I hog Rosalie. #nonnaisarosaliehog. I made a favorite family dinner last night, meatloaf and mashed potatoes (with a sweet potato), and fresh string beans. The best is my meatloaf sandwiches the next day.
Yesterday when my son and I went to Starbucks while his car was serviced, he taught me Casino. It wasn't pretty at first - I never had the patience to sit still and learn games until recently. I do know the suits but that was about it. We laughed so hard people were looking at us - probably jealous they weren't having as much fun, Lol!! Anyway, I plan to teach my friends Julie and Loren. I am sure it will necessitate a few phone calls. My youngest son gets so frustrated with me, and then I just burst out laughing, it's quite a funny scene.
That's it for now so I'll sign off.
Good day and God Bless! Aleta
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Today is a busy day and I'm getting ready to go on vacation. I will probably write while I'm gone, especially about the cutest baby girl, but at this point I won't committ. For the Easter weekend I get to be with my son's in laws, in the Gold Country. Then I get to see my kids in the Midwest and my 9 month old grand daughter, Rosalie. The cutest paparazzi baby! Happy Easter and I will return to normal after April 15th.
Great day and God Bless!! Aleta
Great day and God Bless!! Aleta
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
LOVE - THE FOUR TYPES OF LOVE
Yesterday's post was about gratitude, and waking up everyday happy to be alive, to breath, to think, to enjoy, and to love. (By the way, if todays topic is TOO DRY FOR YOU, be patient and check back with me over the next few weeks. I will get into romance, attraction, soul mates, love at first sight!)
As I finished that post, it became clear my next focus was going to be on love. In my research and thinking about how I wanted to begin, I discovered some good definitions of the four types of love. We have all heard of "eros" but I'm not sure the other three are as well known. I thought it would be a good place to start the subject of love. One of my favorite topics, since I am an incurable romantic.
The ancient Greeks came up with the four terms for love: eros, storge, agape, and philia. Love occurs in the brain, not revolving around the heart, as most of us believe. Artists, poets, and painters all epitomize the heart as the love symbol. However, it's the brain that generates chemical signals to make people understand love.
Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. Being an emotional and sexual love, this love is evident in the beginning of a new relationship. But it does not last because it focuses more on "self" instead of the other person.
Storge is a love of family and friends, the love that parents naturally feel for their children. And hopefully family members might have for each other. Storge love is unconditional and accepts flaws and faults. It's committed and sacrificial and makes you feel comfortable and safe.
Agape love is an unconditional love accepting the recipient for himself/herself, including shortcomings and faults. Though we may not like someone, we decide to love them as a person, a human being. This type of love requires sacrifice and expecting nothing in return. Brotherly love is a good example. The translation of the word agape, as a verb, a committed and chosen love. Storge is different than agape in that it is unconditional love within the family unit.
Philia is the last Greek term for love. This love is a purely platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. The literal translation is how you feel about someone, it is a committed and chosen love. Key word here 'chosen'.
We have all experienced eros, starting with school crushes and then onto adulthood. I hope we have all experienced storge love in the family unit.
Agape love is a tough one. Loving those people that we can barely stand to be around. They are family, perhaps someone married to a family member. In order to keep peace, and more importantly, keep the family together, we bite our tongue and simply ignore the comments and grumpy moods.
I have been working on getting along with people all of my adult life. It's an ongoing process. If a friend were here with me, she would say "You get along with everyone". Yes, I like everyone until they give me a reason not to like them, then I have to try hard. Many, many times I have been abrasive, or said things that hurt other people's feelings.....basically put my foot in my mouth. At that point, there is no backing out. I cannot take it back, an apology does very little. It's like going up to the top of a mountain and emptying a down feather pillow......and then trying to pick up all those feathers, perhaps millions of feathers. Of course it's impossible.
Getting along with people is extremely important. In a family, the work place, the community. People are much more likely to want to help us when we treat them with respect and kindness. A little agape love toward everyone, understanding we are all human, goes a long way. It took me a long time but I have learned not to argue. Sometimes what I remember is just plain wrong. What I think happens is we think about something, therefore we think we did it. Does that make sense?
The one important factor about learning to understand people, I think, is when someone is so incredibly nasty or short tempered, there must be a reason. There is so much stress today, getting and keeping employment, finances and feeding our families, commuting to and from work, health, and simply trying to keep it all together. They might have just received the worst news about their health, or their child's health. The best way to respond to this person is to first take a breath and pause, then answer in a low voice showing kindness, and somehow turn the conversation around. It's not easy and takes practice, but it can put out fires.
Philia love is that platonic love, and I love the word 'chosen' to describe it. We choose our friends and love them for their faults regardless. We aren't a bargain either, some of us forget that. We have to agree to disagree at times. I wrote about being a friend recently, and I am not going into too much more detail. A platonic relationship means you like a person as a friend, no romantic involvement. A friend is someone you know, like and trust.
Good night and God bless! Aleta
"I'm going to remain cool, calm, and corrected." -Robert H. Schuller, author
As I finished that post, it became clear my next focus was going to be on love. In my research and thinking about how I wanted to begin, I discovered some good definitions of the four types of love. We have all heard of "eros" but I'm not sure the other three are as well known. I thought it would be a good place to start the subject of love. One of my favorite topics, since I am an incurable romantic.
The ancient Greeks came up with the four terms for love: eros, storge, agape, and philia. Love occurs in the brain, not revolving around the heart, as most of us believe. Artists, poets, and painters all epitomize the heart as the love symbol. However, it's the brain that generates chemical signals to make people understand love.
Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. Being an emotional and sexual love, this love is evident in the beginning of a new relationship. But it does not last because it focuses more on "self" instead of the other person.
Storge is a love of family and friends, the love that parents naturally feel for their children. And hopefully family members might have for each other. Storge love is unconditional and accepts flaws and faults. It's committed and sacrificial and makes you feel comfortable and safe.
Agape love is an unconditional love accepting the recipient for himself/herself, including shortcomings and faults. Though we may not like someone, we decide to love them as a person, a human being. This type of love requires sacrifice and expecting nothing in return. Brotherly love is a good example. The translation of the word agape, as a verb, a committed and chosen love. Storge is different than agape in that it is unconditional love within the family unit.
Philia is the last Greek term for love. This love is a purely platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. The literal translation is how you feel about someone, it is a committed and chosen love. Key word here 'chosen'.
We have all experienced eros, starting with school crushes and then onto adulthood. I hope we have all experienced storge love in the family unit.
Agape love is a tough one. Loving those people that we can barely stand to be around. They are family, perhaps someone married to a family member. In order to keep peace, and more importantly, keep the family together, we bite our tongue and simply ignore the comments and grumpy moods.
I have been working on getting along with people all of my adult life. It's an ongoing process. If a friend were here with me, she would say "You get along with everyone". Yes, I like everyone until they give me a reason not to like them, then I have to try hard. Many, many times I have been abrasive, or said things that hurt other people's feelings.....basically put my foot in my mouth. At that point, there is no backing out. I cannot take it back, an apology does very little. It's like going up to the top of a mountain and emptying a down feather pillow......and then trying to pick up all those feathers, perhaps millions of feathers. Of course it's impossible.
Getting along with people is extremely important. In a family, the work place, the community. People are much more likely to want to help us when we treat them with respect and kindness. A little agape love toward everyone, understanding we are all human, goes a long way. It took me a long time but I have learned not to argue. Sometimes what I remember is just plain wrong. What I think happens is we think about something, therefore we think we did it. Does that make sense?
The one important factor about learning to understand people, I think, is when someone is so incredibly nasty or short tempered, there must be a reason. There is so much stress today, getting and keeping employment, finances and feeding our families, commuting to and from work, health, and simply trying to keep it all together. They might have just received the worst news about their health, or their child's health. The best way to respond to this person is to first take a breath and pause, then answer in a low voice showing kindness, and somehow turn the conversation around. It's not easy and takes practice, but it can put out fires.
Philia love is that platonic love, and I love the word 'chosen' to describe it. We choose our friends and love them for their faults regardless. We aren't a bargain either, some of us forget that. We have to agree to disagree at times. I wrote about being a friend recently, and I am not going into too much more detail. A platonic relationship means you like a person as a friend, no romantic involvement. A friend is someone you know, like and trust.
Good night and God bless! Aleta
"I'm going to remain cool, calm, and corrected." -Robert H. Schuller, author
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