MY FRIENDSHIPS HAVE TAUGHT ME A LOT!

The weather changes drastically in a half hour when you live on the coast. This morning going over the hill it went like this - 60 - 68 - 74. But at 2:00 it was really drastic 84 - 79 - 74 -63. That is why this northern coast is called a resort. You combine the beautiful Pacific Ocean, and mountains to the east, you have lovely communities - laid back and peaceful. When my husband and I moved here years ago, we noticed how friendly the people were. One day, years ago, a lady overheard us talking about the car trouble we were having, and she offered to drive us home. It was surprising being only a half hour away, how different the people were.

Today I met with a friend and we had fun catching up. She was actually working, but we laughed and made plans to see other soon. Having friends that understand you, care about you, and friends with whom you share similar interests and thoughts is incredibly important. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Making friends isn't always easy because there is some risk involved, if you think about it. By risk I mean being vulnerable, we have to be transparent and sometimes that can turn against us. The obvious differences in personality also will either make or break a friendship. That usually is discovered right away, but not always. Sharing personal information with a new friend can be scary because we don't know how they will react, if they will judge, or even gossip. Past mistakes has taught me well. But it does take years of experience - I call that wisdom. The one thing I love about being older - wisdom!!

Why aren't friendships easy to cultivate? First of all everyone is too busy. We can't get away because we are so attached to all of our techy toys. Young kids aren't the only ones that need to have time away from their iPads. I will admit I am hooked on technology. I must google a dozen times a day, looking up information, or the definition of a word, or a phone number.

Back to friendships. Of course I looked up the definition of friend: someone who knows, likes, and trusts you. We need to be good listeners, listen twice as much as we speak. I have read we have lots of acquaintances but only a few close friends. We need to feel safe with friends. Comfortable enough that we can be quiet when we are together. If we don't feel well, a good friend will notice and know what we need. This is very simplistic, but in order to have a friend we need to be a friend. Simplistic and yet very important. And we need to learn to "ask for help". This is still difficult for me to do. We are giving a blessing to others when we ask for help. We should not deny our friends these blessings. Otherwise, how can we offer to help others?!

I have many friends but I only have a few close friends. And spending time alone at this stage of my life has taught me how to be the "best me" I can be.

Thank you, good night and God Bless!    Aleta

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."
Lucius Annaeus Seneca  - Roman Stoic and statesman