What is a filter? It's a moment in time when we blurt something inappropriate out, or simply say something we wish we hadn't. How often does that happen? Too often I'm afraid. We learn by our mistakes, usually. Maybe I should say hopefully. Children of course are the worst offenders, but we can chuckle at their innocent, and often hilarious comments. Sometimes it takes adults a lifetime.
Growing up we always heard "think before you speak". That is sometimes hard to do, especially if you think a long time has passed. You begin to perspire and, forget it, if you are anything like me, your mind goes blank and everything is lost. That is the worst case scenario.
Learning how to relate with difficult or angry people is where we can get our practice. There is plenty of that these days, I think?! The best thing to do is hold our tongues and just listen. I have said this in other posts, learn to say "Let me think about it". This simple 5 word sentence will save you. Usually when we get away from the incident and tension, ideas come into focus. It has certainly happened to me over and over. Hundreds of times over the years, I have either said something wrong or not been able to say anything. Then later I think "Why didn't I say.....". I have lots of great ideas....after the fact, and I'm probably not alone.
Being quiet gives us time to think about a response, because I have learned the hard way. I would rather be polite and subservient in a difficult situation, because I never want to be unkind and have regrets later. Now don't get me wrong, I will not sit back and let someone get hurt. Or if I see an injustice, I will figure out some way to intervene, or get help. God has blessed me and I have never been hurt. I could not live with myself if I decided to walk away without helping.
Life is always easier with people who understand us. (This goes back to my posts on relationships and personalities.) But life isn't always that simple. Learning when to use our filters to simply get along in our world, does make life easier.
Thank you, good night and God Bless!! Aleta
"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." William James -American Philosopher and Psychologist
That is a brilliant quote mom and I love your advice to think before you speak! I so agree that it can help to just hold your tongue and think.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, that is interesting that your quote is by a philosopher. Hmmmm. I bet u can do up a post on your experience in my faith and philosophy group we were privileged to have you at. Ha ha, seriously, you can think of something good about it, can't you? : )