"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love." by Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus was a Roman emperor from 161-180, and is considered one of the most stoic philosophers. The Stoics taught that destructive emotions resulted from errors in judgement, and that a sage, or person of moral and intellectual perfection, would not suffer such emotions. Isn't Google invaluable, for all of us who have a curious mind. I won't go into why I could never be mistaken for a Stoic! Lol!
This topic of being grateful for everything important in our lives, is very near to my heart. I was born with a huge grateful heart. I remember the day, that very day, I learned that God wants to answer even the tiniest, seemingly unimportant, requests. It was about 25 years ago and I was in our home in San Carlos. My husband and I were going to the Santa Cruz/Mount Hermon communities to look for an antique desk for our new house. We were newly married and I had a perfect spot for a small desk.
With lots of reserve, yet hopeful, I asked God to let me find this desk. As you can imagine I found one and it adorns my office today. It's a lovely old oak desk, small with two shelves. It took me a few days to realize that I found the exact desk I had prayed for. It is a vivid memory and a lot of life has happened since then. Isn't it wonderful how our brains work?
Reading this quote I am reminded how grateful I am for even the tiniest things. Who doesn't like the feeling when you step into a hot shower? I can be expressive as some of you know, and there have been many times when I squealed with joy because my shower felt so good. I love my hot shower in the morning - when it first touches my hair and then I feel it running down my back. Sometimes I say thank you God, for my hot shower. I am reminded of the many people who don't have that privilege, that many of us take for granted. And how about that cup of coffee in the morning, the first few precious sips, it's hot and fragrant and warms me to my core. And my 3 sons that are healthy, young men with 3 wives that love and adore them. A new grand daughter that loves her Nonna and is the paparazzi baby of the family!
I am very grateful for the good health I have always enjoyed. Especially when I hear of my neighbor who has breast cancer, or my other neighbor who got liver cancer and in two months was gone. Worse yet, is hearing about children who have a terminal illness. And all the heinous crimes we hear about on the news - daily, senseless crimes. Yesterday, a friend had a dental appointment and a very unpleasant procedure to look forward to. He needed a crown and crown work is very expensive and painful. His response was perfect - I am grateful I am able to have crown work done and can pay for it. Thank you, Keith, for being such a good friend, and a beautiful example to all who know you!
Being grateful for all the tiny blessings in our lives is a constant reminder how fortunate we are. Seeing the glass half full is an attribute that can add years to one's life and happiness on a daily basis.
Alive - thinking about the quote above - it is such a privilege to be alive when we think about all the people we know, for different reasons, they are not alive today, but we are. We can't take that for granted, we must respect life and be a good example for others. My wonderful therapist, Janet, gave me pearls of wisdom recently. "When in doubt do what is hardest." Wow, that is an awesome statement.
Breathing - comes naturally for most of us, but not for that relative that has COPD, or the 6 year old that has asthma, or the child whose lungs were burned from a meth lab explosion.
Thinking - I love to think and express my self in prose. We don't all have that luxury.
Enjoy - to enjoy the little things in life. A sunset, a child's laughter, at the end of the day knowing we gave work our best, tucking a child into bed and reading his favorite book for the 100th time. It's all these little things that end up being the important things.
To love - to love yourself is most important. If we can't love ourselves, then how can we expect others to love us? It all starts inside of us. Loving your family, your spouse or partner, and your friends. To love: affectionate concern for the well-being of others. That's it, that is the one we need to focus on. That meaning has huge implications. That will be my topic tomorrow, "love".
More writing on love - romance, attraction, soul mates, love at first sight, at a later date.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."
- Albert Schweitzer
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
A CURIOUS MIND- BRIAN GRAZER'S NEW BOOK
CBS Sunday Morning, my favorite tv show, always seems to give me something to think about and even write about. One of the segments yesterday was with Brian Grazer, a producer with many Academy Award winning films in his 25+ years in Hollywood. Some of his films include, A Beautiful Mind, American Gangster, 24, Splash, and Apollo 13. But what struck me profoundly was his new book that comes out on April 7th, "A Curious Mind".
The title says it all. Having a curious mind can reap many benefits. But our society tends to applaud our degrees, and our business acumen, or inventions. Not our curious minds, after all, we should figure out what we want to do with our lives, focus on one thing. Go to college and get a law degree, or become a teacher, or become a doctor, or a secretary.
Grazer was fascinating to listen to in the interview. Passionate, excited to talk about his grandmother, and explaining how he was undaunted sending notes to strangers. Though I am sure he was ignored more often than not. His grandmother was not concerned with his D's and F's he got on his report cards. She recognized his strength in asking questions, his curiosity about the world. He liked to get inside of subjects, and inside of people. She was the one person in his young life that encouraged his curious mind. This act of unconditional love and encouragement, gave him the confidence to pursue his dreams. It's tough to pursue something out of the ordinary.....but curiosity?....where does that fit it? I am not sure about his route from college to currently being a producer. But he did say there were years where he did not work at all in films.
"We all have curiosity, it's energizing, spiritually empowering, and it makes us more interesting as people." - Grazer. He has written notes to perfect strangers for 30 years, asking to have a curiosity conversation. Well known celebrities, scientists, politicians, entrepreneurs, and artists among others.
Why am I compelled to write about this? Those of you who have been following my blog, know it goes right along with what I love to do. Learn, grow, and change. The minute I heard him give a simple, concise definition of what a producer does, I was hooked. Then in talking about a curious mind, well he had my attention. Remember he was not always a famous producer, and I can only imagine what some people thought. Who is this?
I do know people like to talk about themselves. "How to Win Friends And Influence People", by Dale Carnegie, says let others talk and you do the listening, and they will think you are the best conversationalist. If you want to win some points with a spouses boss, or learn something about astronomy from your neighbor's guest, who happens to be a famous astronomer, ask him about himself. People like their name used correctly and they like to talk about their work.
A curious mind has lots of benefits. A sharper mind, perhaps a successful career doing what you love, and a happier, healthier you. A journey of curiosity sounds like a great idea! Well, my curiosity is peeked. I look forward to ordering his book next week and my readers can look for little nuggets that I learn from Brian Grazer. And guess who is going to be thinking about curiosity conversations in the future?
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect."
- Samuel Johnson, English writer
The title says it all. Having a curious mind can reap many benefits. But our society tends to applaud our degrees, and our business acumen, or inventions. Not our curious minds, after all, we should figure out what we want to do with our lives, focus on one thing. Go to college and get a law degree, or become a teacher, or become a doctor, or a secretary.
Grazer was fascinating to listen to in the interview. Passionate, excited to talk about his grandmother, and explaining how he was undaunted sending notes to strangers. Though I am sure he was ignored more often than not. His grandmother was not concerned with his D's and F's he got on his report cards. She recognized his strength in asking questions, his curiosity about the world. He liked to get inside of subjects, and inside of people. She was the one person in his young life that encouraged his curious mind. This act of unconditional love and encouragement, gave him the confidence to pursue his dreams. It's tough to pursue something out of the ordinary.....but curiosity?....where does that fit it? I am not sure about his route from college to currently being a producer. But he did say there were years where he did not work at all in films.
"We all have curiosity, it's energizing, spiritually empowering, and it makes us more interesting as people." - Grazer. He has written notes to perfect strangers for 30 years, asking to have a curiosity conversation. Well known celebrities, scientists, politicians, entrepreneurs, and artists among others.
Why am I compelled to write about this? Those of you who have been following my blog, know it goes right along with what I love to do. Learn, grow, and change. The minute I heard him give a simple, concise definition of what a producer does, I was hooked. Then in talking about a curious mind, well he had my attention. Remember he was not always a famous producer, and I can only imagine what some people thought. Who is this?
I do know people like to talk about themselves. "How to Win Friends And Influence People", by Dale Carnegie, says let others talk and you do the listening, and they will think you are the best conversationalist. If you want to win some points with a spouses boss, or learn something about astronomy from your neighbor's guest, who happens to be a famous astronomer, ask him about himself. People like their name used correctly and they like to talk about their work.
A curious mind has lots of benefits. A sharper mind, perhaps a successful career doing what you love, and a happier, healthier you. A journey of curiosity sounds like a great idea! Well, my curiosity is peeked. I look forward to ordering his book next week and my readers can look for little nuggets that I learn from Brian Grazer. And guess who is going to be thinking about curiosity conversations in the future?
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect."
- Samuel Johnson, English writer
Friday, March 27, 2015
THE SHARK WHISPERER
This morning I was in a waiting room and did what most people do while waiting. I picked up a magazine. An article peaked my interest, or should I say made me gasp. Ocean Ramsey is a 28 year old dive instructor and not an adrenalin junky, as we might think at first, frightful glance. She cares deeply about the dwindling shark population. With only 339 great whites along the Pacific coast, it's no wonder people are up in arms.
The most disturbing fact I read is what fisherman are doing for their own profit. Besides over-fishing, they are capturing the great whites just for their fins, and then they throw them back into the ocean to die! What an egocentric, self-seeking, hideous crime against nature. How people can live with themselves, and think that their own personal, self-serving welfare is all that's important. That is the ugly side of humanity that we hear about everyday on the news.
Ramsey lives in Hawaii and for many years has been interested in marine animal species. She has a degree in marine biology and does research around the world. She shares that she never uses any equipment that could create noise or bubbles, to not scare the sharks. Hence her desire to learn to hold her breath for 6 minutes. One of her favorite night dives was off the coast of Cocos Island, near Costa Rica. "There were hundreds of sharks swarming, and they were using my light to spot their prey. It was almost like I was helping them out." My verbiage would be something like this: "It was almost like I was one of the prey." The words "swarming and hundreds of sharks", all in the same sentence, is just too much to fathom - and then with me in the middle. No, thank you! She is one brave and passionate young woman, and I am very glad we all have different passions. I would love to learn to dive, but minus the sharks. The fear would give me such anxiety I would drown immediately. I can't hold my breath for 2 minutes, let alone for 6 minutes.
Ramsey says there is no magic, she has practiced honing her skills for years. My question is when you are only 28, where do all those years come from? Don't try this at home if you live near the ocean.
To find out more about these beautiful, endangered creatures, please go to Google and search for The Shark Whisperer.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead, anthropologist
The most disturbing fact I read is what fisherman are doing for their own profit. Besides over-fishing, they are capturing the great whites just for their fins, and then they throw them back into the ocean to die! What an egocentric, self-seeking, hideous crime against nature. How people can live with themselves, and think that their own personal, self-serving welfare is all that's important. That is the ugly side of humanity that we hear about everyday on the news.
Ramsey lives in Hawaii and for many years has been interested in marine animal species. She has a degree in marine biology and does research around the world. She shares that she never uses any equipment that could create noise or bubbles, to not scare the sharks. Hence her desire to learn to hold her breath for 6 minutes. One of her favorite night dives was off the coast of Cocos Island, near Costa Rica. "There were hundreds of sharks swarming, and they were using my light to spot their prey. It was almost like I was helping them out." My verbiage would be something like this: "It was almost like I was one of the prey." The words "swarming and hundreds of sharks", all in the same sentence, is just too much to fathom - and then with me in the middle. No, thank you! She is one brave and passionate young woman, and I am very glad we all have different passions. I would love to learn to dive, but minus the sharks. The fear would give me such anxiety I would drown immediately. I can't hold my breath for 2 minutes, let alone for 6 minutes.
Ramsey says there is no magic, she has practiced honing her skills for years. My question is when you are only 28, where do all those years come from? Don't try this at home if you live near the ocean.
To find out more about these beautiful, endangered creatures, please go to Google and search for The Shark Whisperer.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead, anthropologist
Thursday, March 26, 2015
WHAT IS A FRIEND?
Dictionary.com defines a friend: n. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; a person who is on good terms with another. I also like the definition from my American Heritage dictionary: a person whom one knows, likes and trusts. Simple, direct and concise - know, like, and trust. However, to some degree friendship is different for each of us, isn't it?
Accountability is important in all personal relationships, and most definitely in a friendship. You trust a friend will be completely and totally honest with you. You trust each other with your lives, your children, your home - everything. You know each other and accept all your imperfections, all the weaknesses and of course all the strengths. That reminds me of one of my favorite songs, All Of Me, by John Legend...."love all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". Yes, he is talking about how he loves his wife, but we need to also accept all the imperfections of our friends - because we are all imperfect.
God has given me a huge heart for people. I realize not everyone is as outgoing and friendly as I am. Nor does everyone like talking with strangers like I sometimes do. I notice things as I go about my day, and I love to encourage, and talk to people. We are all made differently, different personalities, different priorities. Being intuitive can be a blessing and a curse at times. But the benefit is I can empathize with people and understand things they are going through. I can listen with my ears, eyes, and my heart. As a friend, I want to always be there, whether it's for a ride to the airport, listening about a friend's sick child, or just spending time together. I have noticed that with a good friend there can be quiet times, and it's still comfortable. And if you can say let's agree to disagree without doing any damage, that is a good friendship.
Affection is easy for some of us, and I am definitely a hugger. I have read touch is very important in relating to people. Good sales people learn to use if effectively. But we aren't all huggers nor outwardly affectionate, and it's important to respect that.
Understanding that friendships are never perfect, we need to learn to see them realistically. Our friends fill different needs. One friend might love to read the same books that I do. But it's not possible to travel together because we have completely different ideas on what is fun. Most people are vulnerable and have a huge fear of being rejected. After all, we are all complicated human beings with emotions, needs, and expectations. It's tough to tell a friend something uncomfortable, maybe something they said you didn't like. I have been there, and it takes both to talk and listen and forgive.
We all have insecurities.
I read a book by Lucy Swindoll (a long time ago) and she talked about a friend of hers that was kind, graceful, never raising her voice, and sweet and thoughtful. She went on to say we can learn to be sweeter to other people when "We listen when we'd rather speak. Learn when we'd rather teach. We understand when we'd rather be understood." She suggested doing six things that might help us toward that end. Forget yourself. Ask questions. Take time. Reach out. Be kind. Show up. I never forgot these words and even considered putting them in a frame, to hang on my wall. So simple and yet so difficult to do on a daily basis. I have learned to bite my tongue, now at my age, only because I have said too many things I wish I could take back over the years. I am very grateful for all my friends!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief." - anonymous
Accountability is important in all personal relationships, and most definitely in a friendship. You trust a friend will be completely and totally honest with you. You trust each other with your lives, your children, your home - everything. You know each other and accept all your imperfections, all the weaknesses and of course all the strengths. That reminds me of one of my favorite songs, All Of Me, by John Legend...."love all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". Yes, he is talking about how he loves his wife, but we need to also accept all the imperfections of our friends - because we are all imperfect.
God has given me a huge heart for people. I realize not everyone is as outgoing and friendly as I am. Nor does everyone like talking with strangers like I sometimes do. I notice things as I go about my day, and I love to encourage, and talk to people. We are all made differently, different personalities, different priorities. Being intuitive can be a blessing and a curse at times. But the benefit is I can empathize with people and understand things they are going through. I can listen with my ears, eyes, and my heart. As a friend, I want to always be there, whether it's for a ride to the airport, listening about a friend's sick child, or just spending time together. I have noticed that with a good friend there can be quiet times, and it's still comfortable. And if you can say let's agree to disagree without doing any damage, that is a good friendship.
Affection is easy for some of us, and I am definitely a hugger. I have read touch is very important in relating to people. Good sales people learn to use if effectively. But we aren't all huggers nor outwardly affectionate, and it's important to respect that.
Understanding that friendships are never perfect, we need to learn to see them realistically. Our friends fill different needs. One friend might love to read the same books that I do. But it's not possible to travel together because we have completely different ideas on what is fun. Most people are vulnerable and have a huge fear of being rejected. After all, we are all complicated human beings with emotions, needs, and expectations. It's tough to tell a friend something uncomfortable, maybe something they said you didn't like. I have been there, and it takes both to talk and listen and forgive.
We all have insecurities.
I read a book by Lucy Swindoll (a long time ago) and she talked about a friend of hers that was kind, graceful, never raising her voice, and sweet and thoughtful. She went on to say we can learn to be sweeter to other people when "We listen when we'd rather speak. Learn when we'd rather teach. We understand when we'd rather be understood." She suggested doing six things that might help us toward that end. Forget yourself. Ask questions. Take time. Reach out. Be kind. Show up. I never forgot these words and even considered putting them in a frame, to hang on my wall. So simple and yet so difficult to do on a daily basis. I have learned to bite my tongue, now at my age, only because I have said too many things I wish I could take back over the years. I am very grateful for all my friends!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief." - anonymous
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Today was just another day in the neighborhood - no, it isn't Mr Rogers. It's me, with my column in cyber space - I'm your Dear Abbey - or Dear Aleta, Martha Stewart, Suze Orman, and leave it to Beaver's mom, Barbara Billingsly, all rolled into one! Sounds good to me and I'm up to the task.
My tax appointment was today. I am one of those that doesn't like paper work, and I don't jump on it right away. I ordered some really exceptional 1960's cd's from amazon last week. Motown 1960's, vol 1 & 2, Blowing The Fuse R & B classics, and Pure 60's, the #1 Hits. Oh, my I hit the jackpot - I've got the knack - I did good!! (I know it's terrible English- it's slang!) However, I made the mistake of playing one while driving. Every song was a great oldie and I sang right along with the artists and had a ball. But I was so excited and hyper I drove a little too fast - I was lucky I didn't get a ticket. Remember I have a Mini Cooper Sport, and it can move. I totally forgot how to get to my CPA's office and got lost twice, so finally I had to stop and set up my GPS to find it.
I'm almost 20 minutes late by now and driving too fast. I hate to be late. As I pull into the driveway I don't notice a bump. Mini Cooper is a sports car and it's not exactly like driving a Cadillac. I go flying, zig zagging in the air a little - no, I had complete control, but it was not pretty! And true to form, I start laughing, uproariously at myself for my less than stellar driving skills, and never seeing the bump. As I pull into a parking place "Wild Thing" came on!! Well, that started me screaming with laughter all over again. Yes, I can be a wild thing and I like that about me. In fact, that is a good subject to write about - liking ourselves. Some of us need to lighten up! Laughing at ourselves is a very good trait to have. Because if we take ourselves too seriously, that's not healthy. That is going in my notes.
My CPA had plenty to do and she assured me I didn't ruin her day. On the way home I stopped by Marshall's and bought a pair of Sketcher shoes, those cute mary jane styles with a sneaker sole - I scored!
The gym, tax appointment done, dinner with friends at a Thai restaurant, and writing - all in all a great day.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have." - Vince Lombardi
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
PART 2- I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME
Well, the near future came sooner than I thought. This is Part 2 from yesterdays post. Please read Part 1 if you haven't yet. I woke up this morning and an interesting phenomenon occurred. I reread yesterdays post and more ideas came to me. I very often reread, that's not new, or I change words or ideas, but this morning was different. I must have added about thirty percent more. So as I sit and write and think, and write some more, the words will come. Because when I think about the subject of not caring what others think, it brings to mind my entire life.
If you have been following this blog since I started in February, you know I grew up being a care taker for my parents and both siblings. The list of good things happening to me is much longer than the bad. And I am very grateful for that. Let me elaborate a little.
I was a good child, happy, and always willing to help my mother. I was the oldest and fell right into the role of caring for my brother and sister. I was the little mommy for the entire family but I did not mind. The accolades I received were what fed me. I'm not sure what was missing except I do know I can't remember any hugs. My mother loved me and my step father cared about me, but I can't remember any outward affection, or touching. I am sure I craved touch. I loved being the older sister and my siblings loved me back. I know now my parents loved me for what I did - not who I was! I know there are many of us who have experienced this - they loved me for what I did, NOT who I was!! This simply perpetuated my necessity to stay in that role.
I kept building that "false self". The Aleta that needed to be a certain way in order to survive. The house was messy, so I picked it up and kept things organized. My mom couldn't find her keys and I always found them. I remember once going to the grocery store with my mother and she had me bring in a good check to replace a bad one. I had to go up to the customer service window and hand them a check. I don't know how old I was and I don't remember feeling any emotions. But since I remember this incident, it most definitely made a huge impression on me - certainly a negative one.
Both parents depended on me too much and stole some of my childhood.
I went to three different high schools and received a terrible high school education. I can't remember going out very often like a normal teenager. Then I became my mother's buddy since I was usually at home. I remember my mother telling me I had to clean the whole house if I wanted to go out. I don't know how often this happened but it is a vivid memory.
Why is this pertinent? Why do I find it necessary to talk about my personal family history? First of all, I have discovered writing is extremely therapeutic for me. Along with writing I like to solve problems, and express myself on paper (I guess I better say in cyber space). I have been blogging or trying to blog since 2011. In November of last year, I went to Italy by myself and blogged everyday. That was the class I needed to take. I say "class" because it was the writing that I felt I had to do everyday that saved me. I looked forward to writing and I never missed a day. I digressed a bit here, but I simply want to say that I hope I can help others on their quest to understand their personal challenges, and how to come back stronger.
We will all go through some stuff in life that is not ideal, and some will go through much worse, even life threatening things. Having dreams and desires and holding fast to them can take you far. It's probably best to keep them to yourself, until you feel you are strong enough to combat (emotionally) the evil nay sayers. I have always been a big dreamer, anything and everything, and I am sure that has been one of my big gifts that has helped me.
Dream big, simply know in your heart of hearts that things will change and you will have choices open up to you that are not evident now. Always see the glass half full, because it is. It's all about attitude. People say to me "Have a great day". And sometimes my response is "Thank you, that is always my plan. It's all about attitude, isn't it?" Some people say yes, you are right, and some look at me like I'm from Mars. It's okay, I planted a seed. Always say "when" something will happen, not "if". Saying it out loud will affirm it.
Caring about what people think allows them to control who we are. Don't let that happen. I have grown children and only the last few years have I been able to figure a lot of this out. As I said in yesterdays post, a life filled with trying to do the impossible - to please everyone - is a recipe for disaster, misery, and illness.
Please take my story and put yours in its place. Find where you can change your attitude about something, or pick up a book you can learn from, or exercise and get those endorphins in formation, or learn to say no to certain people who only take, or write the list I talked about yesterday.....do something, do something today that will give you 10 seconds of boldness. That boldness today will give you the fortitude to take 20 seconds of boldness, perhaps tomorrow. And next week you may have that grumpy coworker treating you differently, or you now have more energy and can therefore see clearly how to solve a problem that has been troubling you for months.
I never mean to sound like this is easy - it is not. But in my honesty and openness I am hoping to spur you to greater heights, to a life we all deserve. Life is very short. In the blink of an eye the children are gone, and are having children of their own, and all of a sudden you are called a S E N I O R!
If you want to do some soul searching, and change some things about your life you don't like, then I suggest you get out a blank sheet of paper. Start writing, brainstorming, what or who troubles you, what you would like to change, what you would like to do for fun, how you can change your employment, do you want to go back to school, who do you want to tell "I love you" to. Make up your own list but start it today. Once you start you will not even notice the time fly by, and then you will be amazed!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." - Francis of Assisi
If you have been following this blog since I started in February, you know I grew up being a care taker for my parents and both siblings. The list of good things happening to me is much longer than the bad. And I am very grateful for that. Let me elaborate a little.
I was a good child, happy, and always willing to help my mother. I was the oldest and fell right into the role of caring for my brother and sister. I was the little mommy for the entire family but I did not mind. The accolades I received were what fed me. I'm not sure what was missing except I do know I can't remember any hugs. My mother loved me and my step father cared about me, but I can't remember any outward affection, or touching. I am sure I craved touch. I loved being the older sister and my siblings loved me back. I know now my parents loved me for what I did - not who I was! I know there are many of us who have experienced this - they loved me for what I did, NOT who I was!! This simply perpetuated my necessity to stay in that role.
I kept building that "false self". The Aleta that needed to be a certain way in order to survive. The house was messy, so I picked it up and kept things organized. My mom couldn't find her keys and I always found them. I remember once going to the grocery store with my mother and she had me bring in a good check to replace a bad one. I had to go up to the customer service window and hand them a check. I don't know how old I was and I don't remember feeling any emotions. But since I remember this incident, it most definitely made a huge impression on me - certainly a negative one.
Both parents depended on me too much and stole some of my childhood.
I went to three different high schools and received a terrible high school education. I can't remember going out very often like a normal teenager. Then I became my mother's buddy since I was usually at home. I remember my mother telling me I had to clean the whole house if I wanted to go out. I don't know how often this happened but it is a vivid memory.
Why is this pertinent? Why do I find it necessary to talk about my personal family history? First of all, I have discovered writing is extremely therapeutic for me. Along with writing I like to solve problems, and express myself on paper (I guess I better say in cyber space). I have been blogging or trying to blog since 2011. In November of last year, I went to Italy by myself and blogged everyday. That was the class I needed to take. I say "class" because it was the writing that I felt I had to do everyday that saved me. I looked forward to writing and I never missed a day. I digressed a bit here, but I simply want to say that I hope I can help others on their quest to understand their personal challenges, and how to come back stronger.
We will all go through some stuff in life that is not ideal, and some will go through much worse, even life threatening things. Having dreams and desires and holding fast to them can take you far. It's probably best to keep them to yourself, until you feel you are strong enough to combat (emotionally) the evil nay sayers. I have always been a big dreamer, anything and everything, and I am sure that has been one of my big gifts that has helped me.
Dream big, simply know in your heart of hearts that things will change and you will have choices open up to you that are not evident now. Always see the glass half full, because it is. It's all about attitude. People say to me "Have a great day". And sometimes my response is "Thank you, that is always my plan. It's all about attitude, isn't it?" Some people say yes, you are right, and some look at me like I'm from Mars. It's okay, I planted a seed. Always say "when" something will happen, not "if". Saying it out loud will affirm it.
Caring about what people think allows them to control who we are. Don't let that happen. I have grown children and only the last few years have I been able to figure a lot of this out. As I said in yesterdays post, a life filled with trying to do the impossible - to please everyone - is a recipe for disaster, misery, and illness.
Please take my story and put yours in its place. Find where you can change your attitude about something, or pick up a book you can learn from, or exercise and get those endorphins in formation, or learn to say no to certain people who only take, or write the list I talked about yesterday.....do something, do something today that will give you 10 seconds of boldness. That boldness today will give you the fortitude to take 20 seconds of boldness, perhaps tomorrow. And next week you may have that grumpy coworker treating you differently, or you now have more energy and can therefore see clearly how to solve a problem that has been troubling you for months.
I never mean to sound like this is easy - it is not. But in my honesty and openness I am hoping to spur you to greater heights, to a life we all deserve. Life is very short. In the blink of an eye the children are gone, and are having children of their own, and all of a sudden you are called a S E N I O R!
If you want to do some soul searching, and change some things about your life you don't like, then I suggest you get out a blank sheet of paper. Start writing, brainstorming, what or who troubles you, what you would like to change, what you would like to do for fun, how you can change your employment, do you want to go back to school, who do you want to tell "I love you" to. Make up your own list but start it today. Once you start you will not even notice the time fly by, and then you will be amazed!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." - Francis of Assisi
Monday, March 23, 2015
LATE BLOOMERS UNITE - OR PART 1: I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME
Wikipedia defines a late bloomer as a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual. I am a late bloomer. There are a lot of us. Just look at history: Harlan Sanders, founded Kentucky Fried Chicken at age 65, Grandma Moses, a renowned American folk artist, took up painting at age 75, Clara Peller, became an actress at age 81. (We may not know her name, but some of us remember that very funny Wendy's commercial "Where's The Beef"), and one last famous name, Martha Stewart, who until the age of 35 did not do any home decorating.
What is the common thread all of these late bloomers have?.... a dream and desire, and they didn't let anyone tell them what they could or could not do. That's what it takes - a feeling deep in your gut, a feeling that you know that you know - what you believe is absolutely, without a doubt, going to happen - it's not a matter of "if" but "when"!
It's never too late to learn. We all have heard of people going back to college. Older adults are highly motivated, will study harder and longer, and are usually working a job to pay for this schooling. Learning something late in life might sound like a bad deal if you compare yourself to all the young, talented people. But the catch is doing something earlier won't necessarily make you better at it than if you did it later. Did you get that?.....it's good! The catch is....doing something earlier won't necessarily make you better at it than if you did it later!
The demands of life get in the way of doing the creative things we want to do. Parenthood, working, finances, keeping a marriage healthy - all take priority, of course. For me, I didn't know I could ever write and share it with the world. It's been brewing since my 30's. I worried about what people would say. In retrospect think about it, who cares what others think about you? Can you imagine what awful things Hollywood people have to deal with? All the nasty things people say, and yes, lots of people are adoring fans, but there are lots of crazed fans, too.
These people who might not like me never helped me nurse my children back to health for 24 hours straight, they never walked beside my 85 year old grandmother to be sure she didn't fall, they weren't there to comfort me when my sister committed suicide, they weren't there when I was a single mother, barely getting by with 3 boys, nor were they there when my step father repeatedly tiptoed into my bedroom, and stole my innocence. Only God was with me and the strength He gave me. That is the same strength that gives me the words "I don't care what others think about me."
I don't care what others think about me - remember with age comes wisdom. I didn't always think this way, it took years of disappointment and stubbornness and a hunger for knowledge to get to where I am today. It's called wisdom and chutzpa. Chutzpa is a wonderful Hebrew word meaning courage, audacity, nerve. I know there will always be people that won't like me, and people that will disagree with me. On the other side, there will always be people that will like me and even love me. This is the case for every human being on this planet! So why should any of us care what others think? If we do, then we are letting others control our lives. And that is a recipe for disaster, misery and illness, a life filled with trying to do the impossible - please everyone!!
For my younger readers, you don't have to wait until you are my age. You can start right now, today. Today is the first day of the rest of YOUR life! That statement says YOUR life....not your critics, not your parents, not your disgruntled coworkers, not your children....no one but YOU!
Now I suggest sitting down and listing the challenges you have with regard to trying to get along with certain people. The person's name, the personality differences, why you keep hitting your head against the wall, etc. If their name came up, then there is an issue you need to resolve. Don't think about how hard it is, just brain storm and write, write as fast as you can manage. Edit, delete, re-write, and write some more. It won't take long and you will feel so powerful.
I am thinking this subject will come up again - look for part 2 in the near future. Whew....I got a little "hot under the collar" and this is definitely near to my heart!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Failure is never final unless it's the last time you are going to try." - anonymous
What is the common thread all of these late bloomers have?.... a dream and desire, and they didn't let anyone tell them what they could or could not do. That's what it takes - a feeling deep in your gut, a feeling that you know that you know - what you believe is absolutely, without a doubt, going to happen - it's not a matter of "if" but "when"!
It's never too late to learn. We all have heard of people going back to college. Older adults are highly motivated, will study harder and longer, and are usually working a job to pay for this schooling. Learning something late in life might sound like a bad deal if you compare yourself to all the young, talented people. But the catch is doing something earlier won't necessarily make you better at it than if you did it later. Did you get that?.....it's good! The catch is....doing something earlier won't necessarily make you better at it than if you did it later!
The demands of life get in the way of doing the creative things we want to do. Parenthood, working, finances, keeping a marriage healthy - all take priority, of course. For me, I didn't know I could ever write and share it with the world. It's been brewing since my 30's. I worried about what people would say. In retrospect think about it, who cares what others think about you? Can you imagine what awful things Hollywood people have to deal with? All the nasty things people say, and yes, lots of people are adoring fans, but there are lots of crazed fans, too.
These people who might not like me never helped me nurse my children back to health for 24 hours straight, they never walked beside my 85 year old grandmother to be sure she didn't fall, they weren't there to comfort me when my sister committed suicide, they weren't there when I was a single mother, barely getting by with 3 boys, nor were they there when my step father repeatedly tiptoed into my bedroom, and stole my innocence. Only God was with me and the strength He gave me. That is the same strength that gives me the words "I don't care what others think about me."
I don't care what others think about me - remember with age comes wisdom. I didn't always think this way, it took years of disappointment and stubbornness and a hunger for knowledge to get to where I am today. It's called wisdom and chutzpa. Chutzpa is a wonderful Hebrew word meaning courage, audacity, nerve. I know there will always be people that won't like me, and people that will disagree with me. On the other side, there will always be people that will like me and even love me. This is the case for every human being on this planet! So why should any of us care what others think? If we do, then we are letting others control our lives. And that is a recipe for disaster, misery and illness, a life filled with trying to do the impossible - please everyone!!
For my younger readers, you don't have to wait until you are my age. You can start right now, today. Today is the first day of the rest of YOUR life! That statement says YOUR life....not your critics, not your parents, not your disgruntled coworkers, not your children....no one but YOU!
Now I suggest sitting down and listing the challenges you have with regard to trying to get along with certain people. The person's name, the personality differences, why you keep hitting your head against the wall, etc. If their name came up, then there is an issue you need to resolve. Don't think about how hard it is, just brain storm and write, write as fast as you can manage. Edit, delete, re-write, and write some more. It won't take long and you will feel so powerful.
I am thinking this subject will come up again - look for part 2 in the near future. Whew....I got a little "hot under the collar" and this is definitely near to my heart!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Failure is never final unless it's the last time you are going to try." - anonymous
Friday, March 20, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
SAYING THANK YOU GOES A LONG WAY
Do you ever wonder why some of us accept compliments graciously and some don't? I have....it's our insecurities. Until just recently my stock answer would go something like this: Oh, it's an awful picture, or thank you but my mom helped me with that, or it's not very good, or you are a good dancer, Aleta, and I would say thanks but I'm just a beginner. What is the best answer? Thank you....a simple thank you will do! That takes a lot of practice. As the experts say, it takes at least 21 days to form a new habit. Since we don't get 21 days in a row to practice saying thank you, it may take months. This is a worthwhile goal to set.
Compliments are not given lightly either, they are a gift from the giver. They are from the heart and when we negate the gift, we are saying it wasn't worth much. That can be hurtful or insulting and certainly may discourage. It may even push people away from you. I remember a time when I was 18 and I had to show my driver's license to a clerk in a drug store. I pulled it out and showed the clerk, and a guy standing near me saw it and said that's a nice picture. And with all the immaturity of a teen age girl, I said "No, it's an awful picture". It was my first real job and the clerk was a co-worker. She said (later) I should have said thank you, he was trying to be nice and flirt with me. All these years later I still remember that day, and can picture the cosmetics counter when we stood. The older co-worker tried to teach me about accepting compliments - why did it take me so long to learn? I suspect it was all my hurts and hangups and insecurities.
Accepting compliments came up this morning while I was emailing my son. I believe I have mastered it. I try to say thank you graciously, with a smile, and always making eye contact. Grace is an important component, and a beautiful word if you think about it. I think of Grace Kelley when I think of that word. Who is Grace Kelley? A beautiful (and very graceful) actress for a short time, and she married Prince Raineer lll, becoming Princess of Monaco. (1929-1982)
Gracious adj. pleasantly kind, benevolent, courteous; characterized by good taste. I like that last part, characterized by good taste.
Thank you! Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Before I get out of bed I am saying thank you! I know how important it is to be thankful."
- Al Jarreau, Jazz & Rn'B singer from the 1940's
Compliments are not given lightly either, they are a gift from the giver. They are from the heart and when we negate the gift, we are saying it wasn't worth much. That can be hurtful or insulting and certainly may discourage. It may even push people away from you. I remember a time when I was 18 and I had to show my driver's license to a clerk in a drug store. I pulled it out and showed the clerk, and a guy standing near me saw it and said that's a nice picture. And with all the immaturity of a teen age girl, I said "No, it's an awful picture". It was my first real job and the clerk was a co-worker. She said (later) I should have said thank you, he was trying to be nice and flirt with me. All these years later I still remember that day, and can picture the cosmetics counter when we stood. The older co-worker tried to teach me about accepting compliments - why did it take me so long to learn? I suspect it was all my hurts and hangups and insecurities.
Accepting compliments came up this morning while I was emailing my son. I believe I have mastered it. I try to say thank you graciously, with a smile, and always making eye contact. Grace is an important component, and a beautiful word if you think about it. I think of Grace Kelley when I think of that word. Who is Grace Kelley? A beautiful (and very graceful) actress for a short time, and she married Prince Raineer lll, becoming Princess of Monaco. (1929-1982)
Gracious adj. pleasantly kind, benevolent, courteous; characterized by good taste. I like that last part, characterized by good taste.
Thank you! Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Before I get out of bed I am saying thank you! I know how important it is to be thankful."
- Al Jarreau, Jazz & Rn'B singer from the 1940's
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
DANCE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING!
Today I played tourist with some friends. We drove to San Francisco, over the Golden Gate Bridge and into Sausalito. It was a gorgeous day and about 70 degrees. Julie's family was in from out of town and she planned a great day, our weather accommodating us beautifully. We took the ferry into SF and walked a good mile and a half to Fisherman's Wharf. Enjoying the unending parade of characters one sees in SF. We all had sea food: crab cakes, calamari, or clam chowder soup in a bread bowl. Now we had to find a bench to enjoy our food.
My highlight of the day was sitting near a SF musician playing some oldies - old rock songs I can't remember all the names, a wonderful old Marvin Gaye song, and my favorite "Happy" by Pharrrell Williams! I could not sit still, and had to get up and dance. When the music moves me I am totally uninhibited dancing! Happy is the most liberating, fun, exhilarating song ever - at least for me. The words can't help but make you happy, but the beat is also wonderful. With all the videos of people dancing to his song, it's no wonder that song moves most people to just get up and dance. It's a long song and I was happy he kept true to the length. In the beginning there were only about 4 of us dancing, and by the end many joined in. I was in my element, I was like a kid in a candy store. I had the biggest smile on my face, throwing caution to the wind, I moved and grooved, did a little partner dancing with one of the men there, danced by myself and simply had the best time ever....and danced like no ones watching!! As I write these words, I can still feel the pure, unadulterated joy, I felt then. The crazy thing is when I came home I was tired. But thinking about my day and now writing about the music and dancing, I'm not tired and wish I could dance some more - right now!
Dancing to music that really moves me is a feeling like nothing else in the world. And today it was a gift, an unexpected gift out of nowhere. I am very grateful for gifts like these. As we were walking away, I received another gift. A young guy came up to me and said "You are such a good dancer." And I said, Oh, thank you so much! I love to dance! That made my day - dancing and then getting a compliment from a cute 30 something! Can we go to SF again tomorrow??
Good night, and God Bless! Aleta
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching!" - Satchel Paige
My highlight of the day was sitting near a SF musician playing some oldies - old rock songs I can't remember all the names, a wonderful old Marvin Gaye song, and my favorite "Happy" by Pharrrell Williams! I could not sit still, and had to get up and dance. When the music moves me I am totally uninhibited dancing! Happy is the most liberating, fun, exhilarating song ever - at least for me. The words can't help but make you happy, but the beat is also wonderful. With all the videos of people dancing to his song, it's no wonder that song moves most people to just get up and dance. It's a long song and I was happy he kept true to the length. In the beginning there were only about 4 of us dancing, and by the end many joined in. I was in my element, I was like a kid in a candy store. I had the biggest smile on my face, throwing caution to the wind, I moved and grooved, did a little partner dancing with one of the men there, danced by myself and simply had the best time ever....and danced like no ones watching!! As I write these words, I can still feel the pure, unadulterated joy, I felt then. The crazy thing is when I came home I was tired. But thinking about my day and now writing about the music and dancing, I'm not tired and wish I could dance some more - right now!
Dancing to music that really moves me is a feeling like nothing else in the world. And today it was a gift, an unexpected gift out of nowhere. I am very grateful for gifts like these. As we were walking away, I received another gift. A young guy came up to me and said "You are such a good dancer." And I said, Oh, thank you so much! I love to dance! That made my day - dancing and then getting a compliment from a cute 30 something! Can we go to SF again tomorrow??
Good night, and God Bless! Aleta
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching!" - Satchel Paige
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
MY JOURNEY IN PROSE
Yesterday was a typical Monday - read, pump iron at my favorite gym, volunteer, and of course writing (my blog-Monday to Friday). It was a quiet afternoon. Greeting clients, answering the phone, and talking with some clients in Spanish. I have friends there and I look forward to it. When I am out of town they try hard to replace me!
Actually, yesterday was anything but typical. I was looking for paper and found a ream of it, with one sheet that did not belong. Picture this - a ream of paper, on top was a typewritten sheet. I of course read this curiously mysterious prose. Here are the exact words I read:
"Your life has a journey. Grab a notebook, put the CD I'v enclosed on and go back as far as you can or care to noticing synchronicity in your life, when it happened and what was the result because of it. Also note what has been the journey you are on and finally, where is it taking you. Feel free to create it or guess where you are headed if you do not know. Please spend no less than an hour with this."
I read this and re-read it - astounded! Yet I wasn't, because my life has always been like this. Finding little clues and paying attention to what my world was teaching me. Storing them away so I can retrieve at will and at a later date. Intuition is important to each of us. Whether you feel you are intuitive or not, or you believe in intuition, it's important to listen to that voice. Intuition is simply a brief thought that makes a statement, or command. I am very intuitive and sometimes it's a curse, because I know things I wish I didn't. However, my intuition has proven to help me immensely over the years. Remember what you learned in school? In a multiple choice test, usually the first choice you pick is the correct answer. Don't second guess. Pay attention to those precious clues in your life.
Back to my mysterious letter. Synchronicity: n the occurrence of two or more events that appear to be meaningfully related, but not causally related. Meaningful coincidences. The concept of synchronicity was first defined by Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist in the 1920's.
Our lives are a journey. I hear you....I won't look up and define journey! Lol!! My favorite expression may be 'learn, grow, and change'. That includes listening to what is whispered to us in our daily lives, treating others as we would like to be treated, remembering we are all different personality styles, giving a helping hand, accepting those that offer a hand to us, speaking kindly, gratitude for everything, and ad infinitum. (Isn't that a fabulous word?)
This blog is my journey in prose. Sharing and hoping to inspire and teach others because that is how I learn. Take each crisis as an opportunity to learn and grow. The word "crisis" when written in Chinese, is composed of two Chinese characters. One representing "danger " and the other "opportunity". A crisis is an opportunity to learn. Simply put and never simple to go through. Yet, we are humans and life happens, as Forrest Gump reminds us.
Good day and God Bless! Aleta
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get." -Forrest Gump
Actually, yesterday was anything but typical. I was looking for paper and found a ream of it, with one sheet that did not belong. Picture this - a ream of paper, on top was a typewritten sheet. I of course read this curiously mysterious prose. Here are the exact words I read:
"Your life has a journey. Grab a notebook, put the CD I'v enclosed on and go back as far as you can or care to noticing synchronicity in your life, when it happened and what was the result because of it. Also note what has been the journey you are on and finally, where is it taking you. Feel free to create it or guess where you are headed if you do not know. Please spend no less than an hour with this."
I read this and re-read it - astounded! Yet I wasn't, because my life has always been like this. Finding little clues and paying attention to what my world was teaching me. Storing them away so I can retrieve at will and at a later date. Intuition is important to each of us. Whether you feel you are intuitive or not, or you believe in intuition, it's important to listen to that voice. Intuition is simply a brief thought that makes a statement, or command. I am very intuitive and sometimes it's a curse, because I know things I wish I didn't. However, my intuition has proven to help me immensely over the years. Remember what you learned in school? In a multiple choice test, usually the first choice you pick is the correct answer. Don't second guess. Pay attention to those precious clues in your life.
Back to my mysterious letter. Synchronicity: n the occurrence of two or more events that appear to be meaningfully related, but not causally related. Meaningful coincidences. The concept of synchronicity was first defined by Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist in the 1920's.
Our lives are a journey. I hear you....I won't look up and define journey! Lol!! My favorite expression may be 'learn, grow, and change'. That includes listening to what is whispered to us in our daily lives, treating others as we would like to be treated, remembering we are all different personality styles, giving a helping hand, accepting those that offer a hand to us, speaking kindly, gratitude for everything, and ad infinitum. (Isn't that a fabulous word?)
This blog is my journey in prose. Sharing and hoping to inspire and teach others because that is how I learn. Take each crisis as an opportunity to learn and grow. The word "crisis" when written in Chinese, is composed of two Chinese characters. One representing "danger " and the other "opportunity". A crisis is an opportunity to learn. Simply put and never simple to go through. Yet, we are humans and life happens, as Forrest Gump reminds us.
Good day and God Bless! Aleta
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get." -Forrest Gump
Monday, March 16, 2015
THE PERSONALITY OF YOUR FAMILY - MINE IS GREAT!
After a few days of lots of love and attention for my birthday, I have come back down to earth. I was showered with cards, flowers, gifts, and many messages. My daughter-in-law also tricked me unmercifully - and I'm not easy to trick.
I woke up on Friday and started writing early. Let me set the scene. 6:30 am is early for me, I am in my pjs and I haven't even had my coffee, yet. My bubbly little Jenn surprises me with a fancy cupcake, singing 'Happy Birthday to Mamaleta' - the whole song! Initially I say how sweet the gesture is...then I notice her phone is primed to take a picture. I go into a mild tirade - I am not ready for a photo, I am in my pjs, my hair is a mess, and I have to approve the photo, Jenn!! My appeal fell on deaf ears. Jenn is always happy and energetic, but she does have a stubborn streak. She had a mission - to honor me because it was my birthday - and I am sure she thought it was extra fun to catch me off guard.
What I failed to notice during my lengthy monologue, was that she was video taping - NOT waiting to take the perfect photo! I am usually observant and hard to trick. But not at 6:30 in the morning. At some point she let me know she took a video. I kind of yelled "you did not, you did not...." then true to form, I squealed with laughter and kind of yelled at her, half laughing and half angry, calling her a sneaky brat.
When I saw the video, I laughed until I almost cried, half screaming OMG....OMG....!! It was so innocent and funny and crazy and I knew my family and friends would love it! I got many hilarious comments and I know it made my birthday extra special. I have to brag because I have the best 3 daughters-in-law ever, and Jenn is one of them. If the video wasn't enough she posted the nicest comment to introduce the video.
Hey Everyone!
Guess who's celebrating a birthday today? No idea, I'll give you a few hints: creative, expressive, spunky, hip, energetic.......
Still nothing? Ok, I'll make it a little easier. Lives in California, 3 sons, the original BB (ball buster :-) Drives a Mini. And dances like no one's watching :-) Ok, ok, ok......
It's Mamaleta - Aka Aleta!!
Talk about creative, energetic, expressive, spunky, and hip...Jenn definitely qualifies. Her writing style is very creative, and I am very proud of her. She made up Mamaleta and it is perfect for my name. I see a budding writer. I have never been honored like this before, I was speechless and my heart so full! I am the luckiest woman alive, the most blessed - and I thank God everyday for my family and friends!! Thank you, Jenn - I think - ha ha!! I love you Jenn, Tina, and Rachel, the best daughters-in-law any mom could have!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - writer
I woke up on Friday and started writing early. Let me set the scene. 6:30 am is early for me, I am in my pjs and I haven't even had my coffee, yet. My bubbly little Jenn surprises me with a fancy cupcake, singing 'Happy Birthday to Mamaleta' - the whole song! Initially I say how sweet the gesture is...then I notice her phone is primed to take a picture. I go into a mild tirade - I am not ready for a photo, I am in my pjs, my hair is a mess, and I have to approve the photo, Jenn!! My appeal fell on deaf ears. Jenn is always happy and energetic, but she does have a stubborn streak. She had a mission - to honor me because it was my birthday - and I am sure she thought it was extra fun to catch me off guard.
What I failed to notice during my lengthy monologue, was that she was video taping - NOT waiting to take the perfect photo! I am usually observant and hard to trick. But not at 6:30 in the morning. At some point she let me know she took a video. I kind of yelled "you did not, you did not...." then true to form, I squealed with laughter and kind of yelled at her, half laughing and half angry, calling her a sneaky brat.
When I saw the video, I laughed until I almost cried, half screaming OMG....OMG....!! It was so innocent and funny and crazy and I knew my family and friends would love it! I got many hilarious comments and I know it made my birthday extra special. I have to brag because I have the best 3 daughters-in-law ever, and Jenn is one of them. If the video wasn't enough she posted the nicest comment to introduce the video.
Hey Everyone!
Guess who's celebrating a birthday today? No idea, I'll give you a few hints: creative, expressive, spunky, hip, energetic.......
Still nothing? Ok, I'll make it a little easier. Lives in California, 3 sons, the original BB (ball buster :-) Drives a Mini. And dances like no one's watching :-) Ok, ok, ok......
It's Mamaleta - Aka Aleta!!
Talk about creative, energetic, expressive, spunky, and hip...Jenn definitely qualifies. Her writing style is very creative, and I am very proud of her. She made up Mamaleta and it is perfect for my name. I see a budding writer. I have never been honored like this before, I was speechless and my heart so full! I am the luckiest woman alive, the most blessed - and I thank God everyday for my family and friends!! Thank you, Jenn - I think - ha ha!! I love you Jenn, Tina, and Rachel, the best daughters-in-law any mom could have!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - writer
Friday, March 13, 2015
MY MIDDLE NAME IS BARNABAS
Today is March 13th, my birthday, and I have had the best week. I'm just beginning to realize that my ongoing themes are learning to love yourself, change without fear, getting along in your world, exchange anger and sadness for love, or remembering that we are all basically the same. When I sit down at my small, oak antique desk, I pull up Google Blogger, and sit there for a few minutes, thinking about what I want to say. I make myself write something within a few minutes, because writing and deleting and then re-writing gets the brain working for me.
Today's post was easy to decide and I thought of it in a restaurant this morning. My daughter-in-law wanted me to get my free breakfast at Denny's! I tried to get out of it - ha ha! - but that was not going to happen! Denny's is okay for an emergency stop while traveling - but it made her happy and we met a fabulous young guy. That was why we were supposed to go to Denny's today!! To meet Christopher. He is such a gentleman, polite and very charming. I told him so, because I have learned people need encouraging. I always like to interact with people I deal with, especially young people. Sometimes there is an immediate connection, and just going with it works for me. I also told him he was a catch, and very suave and debonaire! His face beamed with pride about the suave and debonaire part. How I came up with those words at that moment, I don't know, but I adore old fashioned words. He thanked me and shared that he is a new father, just got out of the Army, and he wants to start a business. He started telling us about an invention and his whole demeanor changed - he was excited and confident and his ideas came flying out with ease.
I asked him if we could exchange emails because I am also an entrepreneur at heart and have read hundreds of books on attitude and business acumen, and I might be able to help him. The least I could do would be to bring him a stack of books that would encourage him. I gave him a couple of suggestions asking if he had ever seen Shark Tank. Saying, when you give a presentation to a group of possible investors, you want to slow down a little bit, and keep the bullet points short and concise, giving the details later, typed up and thorough. He was thrilled and as we said our good byes, of course, I asked if I could hug him.
Christopher served our country, was respected within his unit, even wished he could be deployed, rather than standing around trying to find work. Which was what he said he did most of the time.
He is now a new father and working a bare minimum job, and probably does not sleep much? You bet I am going to encourage and help him if I can. We just connected and he reminded me of my sons, he was intelligent, likable and I wanted to adopt him! Yes, the mom in me came out.
What is my point? I had a great day and was unabashedly myself - what a stellar word! My title says Barnabas is my middle name, but it really isn't. My husband once gave it to me, and it was a very sweet gesture. He said I was always encouraging people. If you like to google, like I do, you will see Barnabas means 'encourager'. Or better yet, if you have ever read the old testament, you will find Barnabas there. Son of encouragement. Thank you for listening!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!"
-Dr Seuss
Today's post was easy to decide and I thought of it in a restaurant this morning. My daughter-in-law wanted me to get my free breakfast at Denny's! I tried to get out of it - ha ha! - but that was not going to happen! Denny's is okay for an emergency stop while traveling - but it made her happy and we met a fabulous young guy. That was why we were supposed to go to Denny's today!! To meet Christopher. He is such a gentleman, polite and very charming. I told him so, because I have learned people need encouraging. I always like to interact with people I deal with, especially young people. Sometimes there is an immediate connection, and just going with it works for me. I also told him he was a catch, and very suave and debonaire! His face beamed with pride about the suave and debonaire part. How I came up with those words at that moment, I don't know, but I adore old fashioned words. He thanked me and shared that he is a new father, just got out of the Army, and he wants to start a business. He started telling us about an invention and his whole demeanor changed - he was excited and confident and his ideas came flying out with ease.
I asked him if we could exchange emails because I am also an entrepreneur at heart and have read hundreds of books on attitude and business acumen, and I might be able to help him. The least I could do would be to bring him a stack of books that would encourage him. I gave him a couple of suggestions asking if he had ever seen Shark Tank. Saying, when you give a presentation to a group of possible investors, you want to slow down a little bit, and keep the bullet points short and concise, giving the details later, typed up and thorough. He was thrilled and as we said our good byes, of course, I asked if I could hug him.
Christopher served our country, was respected within his unit, even wished he could be deployed, rather than standing around trying to find work. Which was what he said he did most of the time.
He is now a new father and working a bare minimum job, and probably does not sleep much? You bet I am going to encourage and help him if I can. We just connected and he reminded me of my sons, he was intelligent, likable and I wanted to adopt him! Yes, the mom in me came out.
What is my point? I had a great day and was unabashedly myself - what a stellar word! My title says Barnabas is my middle name, but it really isn't. My husband once gave it to me, and it was a very sweet gesture. He said I was always encouraging people. If you like to google, like I do, you will see Barnabas means 'encourager'. Or better yet, if you have ever read the old testament, you will find Barnabas there. Son of encouragement. Thank you for listening!
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!"
-Dr Seuss
Thursday, March 12, 2015
CREATE A NEW YOU
Today is a new day - a day to watch, and listen, and learn, be mindful of our surroundings, understanding we are all different, and to be kind to everyone we meet. And today is a day I will not write. I hope each of you has something to write, something to say about who you are becoming, and who you might be able to help today.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." -George Bernard Shaw
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." -George Bernard Shaw
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
MY ONGOING DIALOGUE TO BE....ME!
It occurred to me that my blog is 'an ongoing dialogue' shared with the world, it's me being a verbal processor. I write because it gives me incredible satisfaction to put my thoughts into words, and my words into coherent sentences, hopefully grammatically correct, and replete with uncommon vocabulary - perfect! That is fabulous and sexy and turns me on! Excuse my choice of words, but I believe words and knowledge and learning is sexy! Remember I am from the 60's - hippies, pot, nickel bags, love children, Haight Ashbury, oldies but goodies music (the best), black lights to go with a Jimmy Hendrix poster, tie died shirts, and everything wonderful and crazy! I just realized I have some fun ideas for more writing - the 60's - Stay tuned.
I digressed but it is a much better opening. I am writing from my kid's house in the valley. On the way here, I stopped at a Trader Joe's and picked up some groceries. I may be expressive and hyper sometimes, but my analytical side always wants me to be organized. So I am very thankful I left with a half hour cushion. It works better for me. Lately I have been so energetic and happy, it's like I am on adrenalin and power bars. And a perpetual smile on my face. It just came to me.....I am happy being Me, the true, authentic Aleta!
I can now say all my introspection, my writing in journals, reading self-help books, the deep thinking, thoughts turning into ideas, the occasional sadness, and my hunger for knowledge, have all attributed to me being a happier, healthier Aleta. That is who I am and I have fun meeting people and making new friends. Today was no different.
The Trader Joe's cashier and I had an immediate connection. We said our cordial hello's and I told her about the herbal supplement I bought. She liked what I said because it was exactly what she needed. She was lovely with a slight accent, and beautiful, long black hair. I told her I had just come from the coast to visit my kids, and was very happy I remembered to pick up dinner. As I was leaving I said "It was very nice to talk with you, by the way, do you speak Farci?" She looked at me and with a surprised look and said, yes. I told her I knew an Iraqi pastor and thought I recognized her accent. And silly me, I patted myself on the back and laughed. I told her I love languages. We hugged a little and it was completely natural. She said I hope to see you again. I bounced all the way to my car, happy to meet such a gentle spirit, and very happy I could recommend the herb. Within 5 minutes I had to adjust my speed because I tend to drive fast when I am excited to get somewhere. I laughed at myself for that interaction, and hugging a stranger, and remembered the kids telling me "everywhere you go, Mom, everyone is your friend". I guess they are right.
Thank you for listening, God Bless! Aleta
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." -Marcel Proust, French novelist
I digressed but it is a much better opening. I am writing from my kid's house in the valley. On the way here, I stopped at a Trader Joe's and picked up some groceries. I may be expressive and hyper sometimes, but my analytical side always wants me to be organized. So I am very thankful I left with a half hour cushion. It works better for me. Lately I have been so energetic and happy, it's like I am on adrenalin and power bars. And a perpetual smile on my face. It just came to me.....I am happy being Me, the true, authentic Aleta!
I can now say all my introspection, my writing in journals, reading self-help books, the deep thinking, thoughts turning into ideas, the occasional sadness, and my hunger for knowledge, have all attributed to me being a happier, healthier Aleta. That is who I am and I have fun meeting people and making new friends. Today was no different.
The Trader Joe's cashier and I had an immediate connection. We said our cordial hello's and I told her about the herbal supplement I bought. She liked what I said because it was exactly what she needed. She was lovely with a slight accent, and beautiful, long black hair. I told her I had just come from the coast to visit my kids, and was very happy I remembered to pick up dinner. As I was leaving I said "It was very nice to talk with you, by the way, do you speak Farci?" She looked at me and with a surprised look and said, yes. I told her I knew an Iraqi pastor and thought I recognized her accent. And silly me, I patted myself on the back and laughed. I told her I love languages. We hugged a little and it was completely natural. She said I hope to see you again. I bounced all the way to my car, happy to meet such a gentle spirit, and very happy I could recommend the herb. Within 5 minutes I had to adjust my speed because I tend to drive fast when I am excited to get somewhere. I laughed at myself for that interaction, and hugging a stranger, and remembered the kids telling me "everywhere you go, Mom, everyone is your friend". I guess they are right.
Thank you for listening, God Bless! Aleta
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." -Marcel Proust, French novelist
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
VOLUNTEERING BLESSES US
Volunteering is a wonderful way to give back, to help your neighbors in the community. It is very sad to me to see so many that just barely get by. Families in my community that live paycheck to paycheck - they have what some call more month than money syndrome.
A few years ago after my husband died, I felt like I needed to do something important, but did not want a job. I hated saying I was 'retired' it made me feel old. One day I prayed out loud "God, please tell me what I can do, please show me what you want me to do." A month later a friend sent out an email saying the community assistance center here on the coast needs some volunteers. They had to lay off a paid worker, and man that desk with volunteers.
I called and made an appointment to see if there was a fit. Indeed it was a fit and it had my name written all over it. It was the front desk, greet people, answer the phones, and use my Spanish. I love helping the people that come into our office. They are people with children, seniors, young couples, and they look like you and me. Except there is one major difference - they don't know where next months groceries will come from, or worse, they are homeless living out of an old car, and have been for some time. Some recently lost a job in a high tech company, and this was the last place they thought they would end up. I like to treat everyone with respect and love, because we are all here on this earth together. We need to help each other in times of need.
Why do I feel compelled to volunteer? God has blessed me so much over my lifetime, I simply want to repay and give back. I cannot sit back eating bon bons, see others hurting, and do nothing to help. When my 3 sons were small there were times when we had more month than money. God has given me so much I want to help others get on their feet. Give them a smile at the front door and any help, talk to them and treat them with respect. When I call to confirm appointments with the Spanish clients, I love it when they say 'Muy amble' which means you are very nice. How hard is it to be kind, to have a smile on your face, to treat everyone love and respect. There have been benefits - I have made some great friends in 3 1/2 years. It's great fun to run into some of the people, in the community, a warm smile goes a long way.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"There is no exercise better than reaching down and lifting people up." -John Holms
A few years ago after my husband died, I felt like I needed to do something important, but did not want a job. I hated saying I was 'retired' it made me feel old. One day I prayed out loud "God, please tell me what I can do, please show me what you want me to do." A month later a friend sent out an email saying the community assistance center here on the coast needs some volunteers. They had to lay off a paid worker, and man that desk with volunteers.
I called and made an appointment to see if there was a fit. Indeed it was a fit and it had my name written all over it. It was the front desk, greet people, answer the phones, and use my Spanish. I love helping the people that come into our office. They are people with children, seniors, young couples, and they look like you and me. Except there is one major difference - they don't know where next months groceries will come from, or worse, they are homeless living out of an old car, and have been for some time. Some recently lost a job in a high tech company, and this was the last place they thought they would end up. I like to treat everyone with respect and love, because we are all here on this earth together. We need to help each other in times of need.
Why do I feel compelled to volunteer? God has blessed me so much over my lifetime, I simply want to repay and give back. I cannot sit back eating bon bons, see others hurting, and do nothing to help. When my 3 sons were small there were times when we had more month than money. God has given me so much I want to help others get on their feet. Give them a smile at the front door and any help, talk to them and treat them with respect. When I call to confirm appointments with the Spanish clients, I love it when they say 'Muy amble' which means you are very nice. How hard is it to be kind, to have a smile on your face, to treat everyone love and respect. There have been benefits - I have made some great friends in 3 1/2 years. It's great fun to run into some of the people, in the community, a warm smile goes a long way.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"There is no exercise better than reaching down and lifting people up." -John Holms
Monday, March 9, 2015
BE YOURSELF - WHO ELSE IS BETTER QUALIFIED?
There were some discrepancies as to the author of this wonderful quote. I am only sorry I can't give them credit, I suspect it is old. I found it on a box of lovely greeting cards from Mary Engelbreit. This simple thought is not simple at all. It's complex and deep and complicated. It's all relative, depending on who you are talking about, isn't it?
My brother and I were talking last week and I talked about being myself. In his own imitable way he laughed and said, Aleta, who else are you going to be?! Intimating what a ludicrous thing to say. For my brother, some things are black or white, no grey. He is task oriented, full speed ahead, and very focused. I get that - and I love our differences.
For most of us we have to work hard to be ourselves. The difficulty comes from so many different areas of our lives. The list is endless, but to name a few: our upbringing, sibling rivalry, childhood bullies, divorced parents, poverty, and certainly our own inadequacies. No doubt thousands or even millions of books have been written on this very subject.
Some of us fear this growth and change, some of us aren't aware of it, some see it but can't seem to do anything about it, and some are aware but simply don't care. The last one is probably caused by bitterness and resentment. For me the fear came from feeling guilty, turmoil in my mind, and the role playing I went through - all drove me nuts. I knew I wasn't being true to myself, but to go through such nonsense all the time seemed pointless - I hated it and wanted to be proactive about it.
Learning to be honest with myself and others was the best solution for me. I think it means being accountable, which to me means being a good citizen - doing my job as a mom a wife and an employee. Easy to say. But for me that started about 30 years ago.
So, how am I doing now? Over the years I have learned how to be assertive, but the people pleaser 'me' did not get along with the 'me' that was trying to be assertive! For some reason I fell into the role of taking care of everyone in my family. I am very grateful bitterness never reared it's ugly head. Always wanting to be happy and easy going was easiest for me. Plus the little things I did seemed to keep the family happy, and I enjoyed my role, I enjoyed the accolades.
The words 'Be myself' became very important to me this past week. I finally got it. I was getting ready one morning and started thinking - how would I respond to an email? All of a sudden the words came flying out of my mouth, out loud, 'BE MYSELF'! Duh!! That's it, and why am I trying to change the words to please someone. In the end, if I am not myself, I will be unhappy. It may be hard to understand but it was a huge revelation for me. The people pleaser me.
I am having so much fun this past year. I feel like I graduated from something important and the whole world just opened up for me. I have many friends, long time friends and new special ones. I have made my house my own, comfortable for my needs. Nothing expensive or drastic, but it's mine. I let myself take ballroom dance lessons last year and I loved it. They are expensive and quite a drive to get to, but I am glad I did it. I went to Italy by myself for three weeks and had a ball. It was a small town, Cava de Tirenni, in southern Italy. I went on buses to do tourist things and I got nervous a few times and thought I was crazy. But I got through it and in the end loved every minute.
On my return trip home, that very morning, Lufthansa Airlines went on strike and I was stuck in Naples, standing in a line with a hundred other people waiting for 5 hours to get on another flight. It was tough standing that long, and some people were livid. But I met some nice people including a woman from Naples who gave me her phone number and said if I get back to Naples, she wants to show me how beautiful it is. The airline had to put me up in a Holiday Inn in Naples that night, and then I flew to Paris, France, and stayed one night. Poor me - but someone had to do it!!
My resiliency and openness to an adventure kicked in. I arrived at the hotel at 4, and left at 4:30 in a cab to Paris. A 40 minute drive, and the cab driver was a gentleman, he spoke 3 languages, and I felt very comfortable with him. By the time I got to Paris, I devised a plan. He drove me to the Arch de- Triomph, and then Eiffel Tower, and I got out for 5 minutes at each stop and took some photos. Then he dropped me off at the Notre Dame Cathedral. I walked around, took lots of photos, and had a delicious dinner in a French restaurant. I then called my driver and he brought me back to my hotel. The next morning I flew back to San Francisco. A whirlwind 4 hour tourist evening in Paris, and all paid for by Lufthansa! (Except the cab.) Yeah!!! I loved it and was so grateful for my gift!
This 3 week trip was my training to find the author in me. Because every day I wrote about my Italy adventures - it was my focus and it kept me in touch with my family. It was a risk I took and I loved every minute of it. I never knew I could do all that - and alone - and now I am bearing the fruits.
Who am I?? I am myself because.... who else is better qualified?
Thank you, and God Bless! Aleta
"The eyes of my eyes are opened." -E.E. Cummings, poet
My brother and I were talking last week and I talked about being myself. In his own imitable way he laughed and said, Aleta, who else are you going to be?! Intimating what a ludicrous thing to say. For my brother, some things are black or white, no grey. He is task oriented, full speed ahead, and very focused. I get that - and I love our differences.
For most of us we have to work hard to be ourselves. The difficulty comes from so many different areas of our lives. The list is endless, but to name a few: our upbringing, sibling rivalry, childhood bullies, divorced parents, poverty, and certainly our own inadequacies. No doubt thousands or even millions of books have been written on this very subject.
Some of us fear this growth and change, some of us aren't aware of it, some see it but can't seem to do anything about it, and some are aware but simply don't care. The last one is probably caused by bitterness and resentment. For me the fear came from feeling guilty, turmoil in my mind, and the role playing I went through - all drove me nuts. I knew I wasn't being true to myself, but to go through such nonsense all the time seemed pointless - I hated it and wanted to be proactive about it.
Learning to be honest with myself and others was the best solution for me. I think it means being accountable, which to me means being a good citizen - doing my job as a mom a wife and an employee. Easy to say. But for me that started about 30 years ago.
So, how am I doing now? Over the years I have learned how to be assertive, but the people pleaser 'me' did not get along with the 'me' that was trying to be assertive! For some reason I fell into the role of taking care of everyone in my family. I am very grateful bitterness never reared it's ugly head. Always wanting to be happy and easy going was easiest for me. Plus the little things I did seemed to keep the family happy, and I enjoyed my role, I enjoyed the accolades.
The words 'Be myself' became very important to me this past week. I finally got it. I was getting ready one morning and started thinking - how would I respond to an email? All of a sudden the words came flying out of my mouth, out loud, 'BE MYSELF'! Duh!! That's it, and why am I trying to change the words to please someone. In the end, if I am not myself, I will be unhappy. It may be hard to understand but it was a huge revelation for me. The people pleaser me.
I am having so much fun this past year. I feel like I graduated from something important and the whole world just opened up for me. I have many friends, long time friends and new special ones. I have made my house my own, comfortable for my needs. Nothing expensive or drastic, but it's mine. I let myself take ballroom dance lessons last year and I loved it. They are expensive and quite a drive to get to, but I am glad I did it. I went to Italy by myself for three weeks and had a ball. It was a small town, Cava de Tirenni, in southern Italy. I went on buses to do tourist things and I got nervous a few times and thought I was crazy. But I got through it and in the end loved every minute.
On my return trip home, that very morning, Lufthansa Airlines went on strike and I was stuck in Naples, standing in a line with a hundred other people waiting for 5 hours to get on another flight. It was tough standing that long, and some people were livid. But I met some nice people including a woman from Naples who gave me her phone number and said if I get back to Naples, she wants to show me how beautiful it is. The airline had to put me up in a Holiday Inn in Naples that night, and then I flew to Paris, France, and stayed one night. Poor me - but someone had to do it!!
My resiliency and openness to an adventure kicked in. I arrived at the hotel at 4, and left at 4:30 in a cab to Paris. A 40 minute drive, and the cab driver was a gentleman, he spoke 3 languages, and I felt very comfortable with him. By the time I got to Paris, I devised a plan. He drove me to the Arch de- Triomph, and then Eiffel Tower, and I got out for 5 minutes at each stop and took some photos. Then he dropped me off at the Notre Dame Cathedral. I walked around, took lots of photos, and had a delicious dinner in a French restaurant. I then called my driver and he brought me back to my hotel. The next morning I flew back to San Francisco. A whirlwind 4 hour tourist evening in Paris, and all paid for by Lufthansa! (Except the cab.) Yeah!!! I loved it and was so grateful for my gift!
This 3 week trip was my training to find the author in me. Because every day I wrote about my Italy adventures - it was my focus and it kept me in touch with my family. It was a risk I took and I loved every minute of it. I never knew I could do all that - and alone - and now I am bearing the fruits.
Who am I?? I am myself because.... who else is better qualified?
Thank you, and God Bless! Aleta
"The eyes of my eyes are opened." -E.E. Cummings, poet
Friday, March 6, 2015
SOMETIMES WE NEED SIMPLICITY
It's nearly 10 pm Friday night, and this will not be a long post. By Friday I am ready to slow down. Hair cut, grocery shopping, and dinner with friends filled my day.
I planned a simple dinner so there would still be time for my friend Julie and me to walk to the beach, along the cliffs. The temperature was quite mild, 68 degrees and a soft breeze. The roar of the ocean against the cliffs is sometimes deafening. Today it was not, it was gentle waves caressing the sandy beach. The color was a beautiful turquoise blue, glistening in the sun. I wish I could have captured that with my camera - my camera that was neatly tucked away on my desk.
The menu for tonight was angel hair pasta, made with cherry tomatoes, roasted veggies, and of course a red wine. No self-respecting Italian serves dinner without a red wine - especially not pasta. My sauce tonight was from Ina Garten, Food Network. Lots of fresh garlic to start with, sautéed in olive oil, low heat. Then I added a jar of organic tomatoes, a basket of sweet cherry tomatoes (cut in half), salt and pepper, and red cayenne pepper (crushed or chopped so it will be subtle). Simmer until the tomatoes soften and break apart, at least 45 minutes. The roasted veggies can be anything that is in the refrigerator, tonight I planned mine - sweet potato, a sweet onion, brussel sprouts, broccoli, and purple cabbage. Uniformly chopped and drizzled with olive oil and a little sea salt. (No higher than 375 degrees.) Delicious and sweet, especially with the sweet potato. I put out little condiment bowls with chopped, fresh basil, and shaved parmesan. The fresh basil was such a delicate flavor - delicious with the sweet tomatoes. Dessert isn't always part of my meals, but tonight I was in the mood to serve something fun and simple. It was an old recipe that I had torn out of a magazine years ago, called ice cream tiramisu cake.
It was delicious and simple: lady fingers soaked briefly in a mix of espresso coffee and rum, topped with vanilla ice cream, layer again with coffee and rum soaked lady fingers, more ice cream, adding another layer, and finishing with grated dark chocolate on the top. Freeze for at least 3 hours. The next time I make it I would make the espresso coffee very strong, and add a little more rum, or perhaps try a coffee liqueur. A lovely way to end the week - friends, food, wine, and candle light.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest." -Thomas Moore
Thursday, March 5, 2015
BURIED DREAMS WITHIN
I am on a lifetime journey to discover myself. To be constantly learning and getting better, and changing. That explains the hunger to read self help books years ago. I was told today to just be myself. I think I am getting better at that now, having been a people-pleaser as a child.
As we go through our childhood years, teen years, and young adulthood, we are kind of thrust into our destined paths. We are born into a family and we have our different roles, as we grow up. Different expectations with high school, and college for some of us. Certainly learning how to make money and taking care of ourselves financially. Then as a twenty or thirty something we might want to settle down and have a family. Or perhaps we have a fabulous career and that is all we want.
What does all this mean to me - with my kids grown and married, and me being alone now - why have I become so pensive? I don't mean in a melancholy way. Perhaps I have the time to be 'Me' and the real me is surfacing and more confident than ever. I have definitely found the author in me and I love that. I will say this periodically, with age comes wisdom! The very best part of getting older is the wisdom we gain. It feels so much better to be well-rounded in work and play, for me at least.
We are all different, thank God, but the retirement years can be very fulfilling. We can learn a new language, read books about subjects we have always been interested in, take classes, travel if the finances are there, write stories or books, even write a family history to leave for our grand children.
In my first paragraph, I mentioned someone told me to be myself. I have to learn to date again, I was never really very good at it anyway. I don't want to make the same mistakes with men I made years ago. For the last year I have been seeing a therapist, MFT, and it has been the best decision. Some people are surprised when I share this freely. I don't understand that thinking, but I know some people are more private than I am. It makes me feel very proud and happy to tell people. Since I love people and interact with them easily, it only makes sense for me to be open. My therapist recently told me I was very courageous at my age to do this. I suppose I am, but it goes along with just becoming a better human being.
I am not sure how to end this today. But it's enough for now. It is a topic very dear to me and I have gotten pretty deep. But I love that I can share what is on my heart, and some days I just ask myself -
"Who is that?" And then I just chuckle! I definitely re-read my posts and I still can't quite believe it.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened?"
- Cora Harvey Armstrong
As we go through our childhood years, teen years, and young adulthood, we are kind of thrust into our destined paths. We are born into a family and we have our different roles, as we grow up. Different expectations with high school, and college for some of us. Certainly learning how to make money and taking care of ourselves financially. Then as a twenty or thirty something we might want to settle down and have a family. Or perhaps we have a fabulous career and that is all we want.
What does all this mean to me - with my kids grown and married, and me being alone now - why have I become so pensive? I don't mean in a melancholy way. Perhaps I have the time to be 'Me' and the real me is surfacing and more confident than ever. I have definitely found the author in me and I love that. I will say this periodically, with age comes wisdom! The very best part of getting older is the wisdom we gain. It feels so much better to be well-rounded in work and play, for me at least.
We are all different, thank God, but the retirement years can be very fulfilling. We can learn a new language, read books about subjects we have always been interested in, take classes, travel if the finances are there, write stories or books, even write a family history to leave for our grand children.
In my first paragraph, I mentioned someone told me to be myself. I have to learn to date again, I was never really very good at it anyway. I don't want to make the same mistakes with men I made years ago. For the last year I have been seeing a therapist, MFT, and it has been the best decision. Some people are surprised when I share this freely. I don't understand that thinking, but I know some people are more private than I am. It makes me feel very proud and happy to tell people. Since I love people and interact with them easily, it only makes sense for me to be open. My therapist recently told me I was very courageous at my age to do this. I suppose I am, but it goes along with just becoming a better human being.
I am not sure how to end this today. But it's enough for now. It is a topic very dear to me and I have gotten pretty deep. But I love that I can share what is on my heart, and some days I just ask myself -
"Who is that?" And then I just chuckle! I definitely re-read my posts and I still can't quite believe it.
Good night and God Bless! Aleta
"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened?"
- Cora Harvey Armstrong
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
LIFE'S LITTLE PLEASURES
I like to play hard and work hard. Today was mostly work and filled with the mundane stuff that we all have to manage. The service light came on in my Mini Cooper a few days ago, and I don't like to ignore that. So I handled two tasks that were in the same vicinity. A doctors appointment for a routine check up was one. And my car also needed a routine check up - new spark plugs, alignment check, all the usual.
The fun part about going to the dealer is I get a loaner. (I have a warranty.) Of course, I chose a hot little Mini Coup, Sport, which is the turbo charged Mini, very sporty two seater. It's a 2014 and unfortunately they only had an automatic. I own an automatic Mini Sport because I would definitely have gotten a few speeding tickets over the last 4 years had I originally bought a 5 speed. But 2 days with a turbo charged Mini Coup - how much trouble could I get into? I know what you're thinking, and no, I did not get a ticket, but I did have fun hugging those corners, and going just a little over the speed limit! Entering onto the freeway safely, but with great panache, like any self-respecting crazy person in a cute little hot rod. What the heck, gotta live a little. And driving a car like that makes you feel young, especially if you're sporting your Italian, Ray Ban sunglasses. Ahh, life's little pleasures!
Onto another one of life's little pleasures - reading in bed!
Good night, sleep tight and thank you!! God Bless! Aleta
"You are the same today as you'll be in five years except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read." -Charles E.T. Jones
The fun part about going to the dealer is I get a loaner. (I have a warranty.) Of course, I chose a hot little Mini Coup, Sport, which is the turbo charged Mini, very sporty two seater. It's a 2014 and unfortunately they only had an automatic. I own an automatic Mini Sport because I would definitely have gotten a few speeding tickets over the last 4 years had I originally bought a 5 speed. But 2 days with a turbo charged Mini Coup - how much trouble could I get into? I know what you're thinking, and no, I did not get a ticket, but I did have fun hugging those corners, and going just a little over the speed limit! Entering onto the freeway safely, but with great panache, like any self-respecting crazy person in a cute little hot rod. What the heck, gotta live a little. And driving a car like that makes you feel young, especially if you're sporting your Italian, Ray Ban sunglasses. Ahh, life's little pleasures!
Onto another one of life's little pleasures - reading in bed!
Good night, sleep tight and thank you!! God Bless! Aleta
"You are the same today as you'll be in five years except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read." -Charles E.T. Jones
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
READ...READ...READ
Do you ever wonder about your childhood and wish you could change some things? We all have, I am sure of that. But I believe we can change our ' attitude ' about what happens to us. This is a very powerful idea. I did not say it was easy, anything worthwhile takes hard work. I am happy to say that as a child, I did not pay much attention to the bad things around me, I focused on the fun, happy stuff. As I got older, I discovered that I was curious about my world and was very hungry to learn.
Yes, I am one of those positive thinkers - the glass is always half full - and I am always for the down trodden! I am not going to even begin to try and list some books to suggest. Because the truth is I probably can't remember too many, and it would be too time consuming to google. I will leave that up to you. After all it's that desire you must have to get you motivated to go the extra mile. Here is a list of just a few authors: Og Mandino, Robert Schuller, Dale Carnegie (How To Win Friends & Influence People- a must for anyone wishing to get along with everyone), David Schwartz (The Magic of Thinking Big), and Burke Hedges.
Burke Hedges wrote the book "Read & Grow Rich" -How the hidden power of reading can make you richer in all areas of your life. Read five or ten books like these and you will understand what I am talking about - you will see the power.
When I sat down today to write, I thought about the standardized minds quote in my post yesterday. I did not fit in as a young elementary student, and my teacher in the early years did not have the expertise to understand children like me. What I don't understand is my mother and teacher discussing me and my slow progress as if I were not in the room. What would the teacher say today about what I have accomplished? What would my mother say if she were alive today? I believe she would say "Aleta, I always knew you were very special, and you are strong like your mother". That is a fair response if I did discuss this with her. What else could she say? She loved me very much and even though she depended on me too much, I always felt loved and special.
We must be courageous and take risks once in awhile. That's how we learn, maybe learn what not to do next time, but regardless we learn. And then always be accountable for our actions, and always apologize. I feel so blessed that I have not been afraid to fumble-bumble ahead and make huge mistakes and look ridiculous. Because I can always laugh at myself - a very important trait! I don't like to make mistakes and make a fool of myself. But I have that resilience to get back up and keep fighting, and keep showing up. That's what I am talking about.
A very favorite quote I may have used recently - Failure is never final unless it's the last time you're going to try -author anonymous. It's worth repeating because it's very powerful.
This won't be the last time I'll bring up these topics about potential and reading and taking risks, because it is a big part of me. I am grateful for all the tough things I had to survive, because they are what helped make me who I am today.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Whatever reason you had for not being somebody, there's somebody who had the same problem and overcame it." -Barbara Reynolds
Yes, I am one of those positive thinkers - the glass is always half full - and I am always for the down trodden! I am not going to even begin to try and list some books to suggest. Because the truth is I probably can't remember too many, and it would be too time consuming to google. I will leave that up to you. After all it's that desire you must have to get you motivated to go the extra mile. Here is a list of just a few authors: Og Mandino, Robert Schuller, Dale Carnegie (How To Win Friends & Influence People- a must for anyone wishing to get along with everyone), David Schwartz (The Magic of Thinking Big), and Burke Hedges.
Burke Hedges wrote the book "Read & Grow Rich" -How the hidden power of reading can make you richer in all areas of your life. Read five or ten books like these and you will understand what I am talking about - you will see the power.
When I sat down today to write, I thought about the standardized minds quote in my post yesterday. I did not fit in as a young elementary student, and my teacher in the early years did not have the expertise to understand children like me. What I don't understand is my mother and teacher discussing me and my slow progress as if I were not in the room. What would the teacher say today about what I have accomplished? What would my mother say if she were alive today? I believe she would say "Aleta, I always knew you were very special, and you are strong like your mother". That is a fair response if I did discuss this with her. What else could she say? She loved me very much and even though she depended on me too much, I always felt loved and special.
We must be courageous and take risks once in awhile. That's how we learn, maybe learn what not to do next time, but regardless we learn. And then always be accountable for our actions, and always apologize. I feel so blessed that I have not been afraid to fumble-bumble ahead and make huge mistakes and look ridiculous. Because I can always laugh at myself - a very important trait! I don't like to make mistakes and make a fool of myself. But I have that resilience to get back up and keep fighting, and keep showing up. That's what I am talking about.
A very favorite quote I may have used recently - Failure is never final unless it's the last time you're going to try -author anonymous. It's worth repeating because it's very powerful.
This won't be the last time I'll bring up these topics about potential and reading and taking risks, because it is a big part of me. I am grateful for all the tough things I had to survive, because they are what helped make me who I am today.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Whatever reason you had for not being somebody, there's somebody who had the same problem and overcame it." -Barbara Reynolds
Monday, March 2, 2015
LEARN GROW AND CHANGE
Being a perfectionist is not really a trait of mine, however, when it comes to my writing, I am a perfectionist! There I said it. This story illustrates it well. My friend Keith knows I am good at finding errors, and often asks me to edit literature for the agency where I volunteer. He came up to me one day with a big smile saying - I read something on FaceBook that reminded me of you. A t-shirt displayed "I am secretly Critiquing Your Grammar". Of course I screamed with laughter. The way my brain works, I simply catch the incorrect words. I find them in newspapers, books, the press, etc. What's my point? Many people mis-spell e s p r e s s o and worse, mis-pronounce it e x p r e s s o. I did the unthinkable - I mis-spelled it in a blog a few days ago! I think what probably happened is one of my sons hacked into my blogger account and changed the spelling, just to tease me! Ha ha!! Don't bother looking for it, it has already been corrected. That is a perfectionist.
This morning my FaceBook account had a great quote I want to talk about briefly, because it is near to my heart. "Sometimes the most brilliant and intelligent minds do not shine in standardized tests because they do not have standardized minds" by Diane Ravitch. Isn't that fabulous? I love it and if you have read some of my earlier posts, you know I struggled in school. Not until my early 30's did I realize I was not stupid, that I had potential, and had the ability to learn - my way. This is very true for a lot of us. We have to learn to 'undo' prior learning that is false, and harmful to our self-esteem. That was why I gravitated to books, to help change my thinking. And to learn to like reading books that interest me.
The first thing I do when I want to understand a word or thought, is look it up. Standardize is a verb and means to compare with or test by a standard, to become standardized. The last one is really offensive. We are all uniquely different, learn differently, have different talents, and different strengths and weaknesses. I like telling young people I know or meet, do what you love, the money will come. What are you interested in, what do you like, what do you dream about, what classes did you actually like in school? I realize it is not that simple, but we still can learn on our own. Look at all the entrepreneurs that started companies with a high school education. Because they were driven by a desire and a dream, and they worked very hard, and they did not listen to the nay-sayers We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and pick up books that help us to learn grow, and change.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Failure is never final unless it's the last time you're going to try." author anonymous
This morning my FaceBook account had a great quote I want to talk about briefly, because it is near to my heart. "Sometimes the most brilliant and intelligent minds do not shine in standardized tests because they do not have standardized minds" by Diane Ravitch. Isn't that fabulous? I love it and if you have read some of my earlier posts, you know I struggled in school. Not until my early 30's did I realize I was not stupid, that I had potential, and had the ability to learn - my way. This is very true for a lot of us. We have to learn to 'undo' prior learning that is false, and harmful to our self-esteem. That was why I gravitated to books, to help change my thinking. And to learn to like reading books that interest me.
The first thing I do when I want to understand a word or thought, is look it up. Standardize is a verb and means to compare with or test by a standard, to become standardized. The last one is really offensive. We are all uniquely different, learn differently, have different talents, and different strengths and weaknesses. I like telling young people I know or meet, do what you love, the money will come. What are you interested in, what do you like, what do you dream about, what classes did you actually like in school? I realize it is not that simple, but we still can learn on our own. Look at all the entrepreneurs that started companies with a high school education. Because they were driven by a desire and a dream, and they worked very hard, and they did not listen to the nay-sayers We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and pick up books that help us to learn grow, and change.
Thank you and God Bless! Aleta
"Failure is never final unless it's the last time you're going to try." author anonymous
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